THE REAL MEANING OF ART.

BAAAH BAAAAH I AM THE BLACK SHEEP IN WOLFS CLOTHING!
RYIIEEEEEDIN WITH THE DEVOOOOOL!!!
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HONOURS YEAR AT UNIVERSITY….. IT’S A REAL PISSER!!
ART SCHOOL TAUGHT ME ONE THING
AND THAT IS THAT DICKHEADS WHO GO AROUND CLAIMING TO BE ARTISTS, ARE GENERALLY SELF OPINIONATED SELF OBSESSED PEOPLE WITH VERY LITTLE IF ANY REDEEMING QUALITIES.
I BECAME DISILLUSIONED WITH ALL SO CALLED ART COMMUNITIES AND COLLABORATIONS AT THE END OF MY DEGREE AND RETURNED TO THE ART SCHOOL AS A LONE RIDER AT THE GATES OF DOOM SELLING FIRE INSURANCE TO DISABLED PEOPLE (OTHER ARTISTS).
MY HONOURS PROJECT WAS QUITE SIMPLE…. INSTEAD OF PAINTING WHICH IS WHAT I NORMALLY DO I DECIDED THAT I WOULD FILM MYSELF SHOUTING GET FUCKED AT VARIOUS NATURAL VISTAS AND OBJECTS IN THE WILDERNESS WHILE THROWING ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES OFF OF CLIFFS
SMASHING STUFF IN NATURE WAS A BIG HIT WITH THE FUCK KNUCKES AT ART SCHOOL I EVEN THREW A BLACK AND DECKER CLOTHES IRON INTO DOVE LAKE AT CRADLE MOUNTAIN AND YELLED GET FUCKED!!! AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS IN FRONT OF TWO HUNDRED FUCKHEAD TOURISTS!! I BOWLED A MICROWAVE OVEN AND A TWIN TUB WASHING MACHINE DOWN A HUNDRED METRE CLIFF ON MOUNT LYELL AND I LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY TOASTERS MET THERE DOOM AT THE HANDS OF MY FRUSTRATION AND DESPAIR AS I HURLED ABUSE AND WHITE GOODS AT THE STATE OF THIS FUCKED UP WORLD.
I WAS HOPING TO GET ARRESTED OR THROWN OUT OF SCHOOL …..
INSTEAD I GOT A DISTINCTION FOR MY FILM WHICH NOT ONLY HAD A GO AT THE ART ESTABLISHMENT AND ACADEMIC ARSE LICKERS ALIKE IT ALSO DENOUNCED THE FUTURE OF THE HUMAN RACE AS A WHOLE….. I EVEN DRESSED UP IN A SURF BOARD BAG AND LAYED A PUMKIN FOR THE LORD MAYOR OF LAUNCESTON WHO WAS MAKING A SPEECH AT ONE OF THOSE SUIT WEARING PUD PULLING GALLERY OPENINGS THAT BORE PEOPLE TO DEATH…. THE DEAN OF THE ART SCHOOL NEARLY SHAT HIMSELF.
FOR MY FINAL PRESENTATION I JUST MOVED MY WHOLE BOHEMIAN STUDENT LOUNGE ROOM INTO THE MAIN GALLERY AND PLAYED MY MOVIE ON A CRAPPY OLD T.V. IT WAS LIKE BEING AT HOME I DRANK A SLAB OF V.B. FOR OPENING NIGHT ON MY COUCH AND ONE OF MY MATES GOT SO PISSED HE STOOD UP SMASHED A STUBBY ON THE FLOOR AND TOOK A PISS IN THE CORNER WHILE RECITEING THE FEAST OF CRISPEAN. NEEDLESS TO SAY THE ART KNOB GOBBLERS LOVED IT …… I RECKON I COULD HAVE SHAT IN THIER SHOES AND THEY WOULD HAVE REVELLED IN IT….. WOT A BUNCH OF TOSSERS!!!

Journal Comments

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