It shouldn’t be happening. Not yet anyway.
I go from happy to depressed in a heart beat.
I go from crying to giggling even faster.
I can’t stop jittering but I don’t move the way I want to when I try.
I sweat and at the same time I have never been colder.
A weeks worth of love, desire, ecstasy, devotion and lust
backlash as their outlet vanishes.
Crying until I fall asleep is not uncommon,
probably because it’s one of the only ways I _ can _ get to sleep.
If she is still there, still within reaching distance,
why does it still hurt?
Maybe it’s the knowing that the emotions
will have no outlet for months is what’s doing it.
Or more likely is the fact that I love you.
And i know that for months I won’t be able to sleep
because you won’t be giving me the look,
the look that makes everything in the world ok for that moment,
the look that makes me want to grow up
so much faster then you want me to.
Maybe it is knowing I won’t wake up smelling like you
Until I’m out of high school.
But most likely is because your my everything.
and now that I’ve found you
I don’t want to let go
because you might find that I’m not yours.
I am a fucking idiot