Steve Scott


Profile

My work is composed by a team of monkeys on typewriters & colouring books. There’s hundreds of them and contrary to popular belief they don’t write out The complete works of Shakespeare, as most of the monkeys believed this would be pure plagiarism. One monkey, Greg from accounts read Shakespeare’s Hamlet for his English Literature thesis at A level in a peace titled ‘Hamlet, A Bit Too Wordy For My Liking…’ and subsequently moved into mathematics. Suffice to say though each monkey was excited to be on with this project of monkey publishing. Each monkey had a role, be it the mail room monkeys the receptionist monkeys, the typesetters all the way up to the expert team of creative monkeys slaving away to put out original work to make their mark as world leaders in the literal & artistic world. Anyway the point is this took time money and effort to put together now give it the time it deserves and stare inanely at this site for at least ten minutes ‘til you have absorbed its wonderment and any other wonderment that may be knocking around too.

Writing

They Asked For Apples

A selection of species who cares about? / I’ve tried all variety and nothing works out / I’ve tried to write jokes with an apple pie finish / A slapstick, a word play, the options diminish…

Sandwiches

THE EARL OF SANDWICH SO IT’S SAID / STUCK NUMEROUS THINGS BETWIXT HIS BREAD / HE’D SHOVE IN CHEESE, HE’D SHOVE IN MEAT / HE’D SHOVE IN SCRAPINGS FROM HIS FEET / FOODS OF PURPLE, FOODS OF BLACK…

WOLVES ( a story i never finished cos i lost interest but still like some of the humour in there)

Ian is, was and always has been a fine and upstanding member of the community. He is 42 and a weed of a man with the drawn face of an almost life. Ian’s hair is thinning on top and has adopted the m…

High Protein

There is the statistic that every body knows that in an average lifetime you will swallow around 50 spiders in you’re sleep… But that got me thinking they’re only accounting for the …

EDDIE AND HIS AUTOMATIC CHEESE

Eddie was the outcast, not the sharpest tool, he was lonely to say the least but other than that Eddie was an average twelve-year-old. He had his likes and dislikes. The former, badly drawn Japanese c…

MENWITHOUTFEET

I’M FOLLOWING THEM WITH THEIR UNGRACING WALK / THEY SHUFFLE AND SLIDE; THEY’RE NOT EASY TO STALK / I’M FOLLOWING THEM AS THEY MOVE DOWN THE STREET / THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU, THE MEN WITHOUT FEE…

Watchlist

  • welshenglish
  • Melissa Vowell
  • Incognita
  • Kelly Boyle
  • Ruth Bretherick