There was something I remembered yesterday that I don’t remember today. My mind does not remember or perhaps it wishes not to remember. But one thing remains forever evident, the blank empty feeling. I don’t feel pain, I don’t feel emptiness, really I am not sure I have any feeling at all.
It just does not seem fair that the love I could once have felt has turned so cold. Frozen in time with no place to go but to be wrapped safely in itself. I have not reached for anything, but pain let’s itself in without an inviting entrance. Still one question lurks in the recesses of my mind. Will happiness ever come to stay in a heart that longs to give and be given? Love I can never give, because my feelings are forever lost in yesterday’s past. Tears that again must never be seen.
I tried to run away to find a blissful peace but wherever I went the person inside me followed as lonely as she started and was always meant to be. What was found, was lost yesterday like it was meant to be today. Only death would bring happiness, but the two that are as one will forever cling to a hope that they will probably never, ever see. Lonely as they were yesterday and will be tomorrow forever.
Short dark story written in my teenage years.