"this is my occupation mom" may 24, 2010

if i felt like i could change
who i am & all my ways
i would have heartaches to save
& lots of thoughts in my mind space
is loving love not good for me?
not part of who i’m meant to be?
i write it out obsessively
why is it all i live & breathe?
i put it before anything else
i put it higher than myself
i made it vital to my health
i thanked God for this blessing felt
& even when i feel alone
i consider love my second home
the most perfect thing i’ve ever known
it reaps all the tears i’ve sown
i see love in many perspectives
when you’re dead, the life it gives
the life around marriage & kids
pain & joy, it’s a constant gift
you know i’m inspired by love
i feel it pulsing through my blood
it’s my job, it’s all i’ve done
it’s made into who i’ve become
but now you got me questionin’
if loving love might be a sin
& this is how i’ve always been
now i don’t want to go to him
can you not see love like i can?
it’s not too hard to understand
you said be patient for my man
but if i journey, i’m a tramp?
“why can’t you want to follow God?”
it’s not as easy as i thought
i’m trying, so don’t think i’m not
but loving love, i’ll never stop
are God & love different for you?
the same for me, now i’m confused
should i change how i feel to do
something else i’m supposed to?
i’m not some average teenager
who ‘falls in love’ with a stranger
who could put my body in danger
do you think i’d pull up my anchor?
i swear i wouldn’t sell my soul
it’s not like i could lose control
yea, my heart’s easy to be sold
but i’ll never forget what i was told
now it’s getting closer to the time
where i can leave this all behind
lose my judgment, moral crimes
lose my faith, Satan in sight
you know i’m much smarter then that
but where can i find my balance at?
i’m well aware of love’s booby traps
that’s where God can hold me back
but tell them you said it was wrong
“she’s going to that boy” so long
tell them i’m where i don’t belong
“love before God never made her strong”

"this is my occupation mom" may 24, 2010 by 


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