From the thumb to the wrist and I see it all like this:
Flick the middle
save the day
make a choice
walk away
Journey on
fly fast
fishing praise
lines cast
Over under
see it rot
east, north
I’m lost a lot
Looking daily
seeing night
I can tell
it isn’t right
Yet in rhyming
the easy flow
simply saw
a time to go
But unstructured
that was tough
sandy hearts
as mine was rough
Steady moves
now every hour
shall I stand or kneel
or shall I cower
Still not sure
but less defensive
in the current
present tense… ive…
Damn…
JenniferB, 4 months ago
Still not sure
but less defensive
in the current
present tense… ive…
felt less pensive?
anal retentive?
a little demented?
soul cemented?
doesn’t rhyme with defensive
okay stick with pensive
not present tense
does that make sense?
yesterday was
and tomorrow will be
present tense
infinity…
oh fuck it.
sally-ann rawl..., 2 months ago
interesting. to me, the use of past tense to describe the present is a very clever technique which i don’t think i have ever seen. all events now are as a direct consequence of the past and as time interlocks, i dunno how to put it. ill get back to you on that thought, i know what i mean, i just can’t put it into words. but whether you meant to do this or not it is very clever and a fav. well done :)
sally-ann rawl..., 2 months ago
as i promised i think i have managed to get my thoughts together. Everything you experience now is because of the events that have happened in the past. But the past runs at the same pace as the present. we are always reminded what we have done in the past at the present time. many people can not let go of the past to get on with their future, so they hold on to the past which affects the presence. It is very clever, though your explanation seemed to make much more sense than mine did. lol :P
G. Merrick Jus... in reply to sally-ann rawlinson’s comment, 2 months ago
Actually, I think you explained a very complex part of the human experience as best as could be done… certainly it comes across more clearly than my poem, as you are the first (to let me know) who understood it. I still hope for a B-mail!
:)