Finding my voice…

I am a pessimistic optimist.
An extroverted introvert.
Cautiously reckless.
An open book, yet guarded.
Beautifully ugly.
Interestingly boring.
Self-confident, yet my own worst critic.
Comedically tragic.
Selfishly unselfish.
Surrounded by love, yet lonely.
A mentally stable lunatic.
Thoughtfully shallow.
Passionately apathetic.
Older than my years, yet forever young.
Chaotically calm.
Foolishly wise.
Confused, yet understanding.
Rock & roll and classical.
Sensitively numb.
Simply complicated.
A pragmatic dreamer.
Exceptionally mediocre.
I am sunshine in a thunderstorm.
I swing from one extreme to the other, often with no warning, and sometimes am both ends of the spectrum at once.

I am an enigma.

  • Age: 42
  • Joined: October 2010

Journal

Retrospect

Reading my old work is so strange. I am the same person, yet so different…and I have such mixed feelings about the intense longing to create again, vs. the vehement thankfulness to be (mostly) drama-free and happy in all circumstances. WHY must I choose between happiness and creativity? In fact, the lack of writing is one of the biggest sources of discontent in my life right now, second …
Posted 6 months – 1 comments

Untitled

This place has become a graveyard of sorts to me. I come back every now and again to reread my work and remember that I used to be a pretty good poet, and mourn that side of me that seems to have been completely engulfed by the chaos that is my life. I seem incapable of the deep emotions that once triggered the outpouring of poetry. I believe it’s a coping mechanism, because I would probabl…
Posted over 1 year – Leave a comment

Untitled

It’s been a very long, dry spell. I miss writing so much, but it’s just not in the cards for me right now. My husband has cancer and I’ve been focusing on family and home for now. I’ve been blogging about it a bit to keep people updated, but for now that seems to be the extent of my writing. I hope and pray to be posting again someday in the not-too-distant future̷…
Posted over 2 years – Leave a comment

:~(

Still really missing writing. Still focusing on other areas of my life. Coming here and looking at my past works feels like I’m looking at someone else. I don’t at all miss the angsty stuff that often prompted my writing, but I miss feeling like I had that gift. / I did write a song recently—well, it’s not quite done, but getting there. But in the past, one piece of wr…
Posted almost 3 years – 1 comments

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