Catharsis, or, Ode to Former Best Friends
I.
I wonder,
If I wear my argyle knee socks
And the chunky-heeled Mary Janes you adored,
Will I miss you?
Will I miss singing Journey in your kitchen
While helping you pack?
Will I miss the inside jokes, the giggling, and the feeling of belonging?
Will I miss biting my tongue because I don’t want to hurt you,
Or the ensuing drama when I fail to hold back?
Will I shed a tear because I believe you hate me?
Or will I simply smile because we once shared space
In one another’s lives,
And try to be a better (not bitter) person because of
The things I’ve learned about myself in the process (of knowing and losing you)?
Thanks for the memories …
II.
If there’s ever been one constant in our relationship,
It’s definitely inconsistency.
You floated in and out of my life (and good graces) as though brought in by an erratic tide
Or the prevailing winds—
At times carried on a light zephyr, and at others swirling tempestuously—
But always you come back, and for that I love you.
III.
I was truly bewildered by your good-bye,
Yet grew accustomed to the subsequent silence.
Once the self-righteous anger (and pain) subsided, I mourned and moved on
Only to be stunned by your out-of-the-blue apology.
(It’s okay, blue is my favorite color!)
Now we’re somewhere in the limbo between forgiveness and friendship
(Only I don’t know how to limbo. I’ve never been that agile!)
And I don’t know what the future holds,
But I know Who holds it.
I’m cautiously trusting…
Comments
this is beautiful.truly.
Thank you so much. :~)
– Amy Levos
I love how you have conveyed the complexity of relationships in such a relatively simple framework. For me really wonderful poetical prose happens when I read it but I don’t hear my own voice but I hear the author. I hear the hopeful sighs and frustrated gasps mixed softly with the loudest thoughts.
That is such a powerful compliment!! Thanks very much :~)
– Amy Levos
This is such realistic communication in the matter on hand , I feel it usually is like this when two good friendly souls ( perhaps true lovers ) are in process depart from the beautiful scene ….usually on account of inconsistency on part of one and intolerance ( righteous ) of such inconsistency , on part of the other !
The funny thing is, it was written to three different people…but after posting and rereading it, I saw how it could easily be interpreted to be one person, and it could be a love story as well. It truly is not, in the romantic sense at least…just the story of three people that I was very close to not so long ago. Thank you for your comment!
– Amy Levos
Wow, you are quick!! Thank you so much! :~D
– Amy Levos
Wow that hit home. Yikes lol. Good one!
I’ve quietly been following your saga (stalking) whenever I pop onto RB. It seems you are handling it rather gracefully. Not sure whether I’m glad or not glad that you can relate, LOL
<3<3
– Amy Levos
Really love this!! Congrats for the well deserved featured! :)
Thank you so much!! :~D
– Amy Levos
Thank you so much, Red :~D
– Amy Levos
Thank you, Holly! Truly an honor :~)
– Amy Levos
So well written and something so relateable to most people at different stages of their life.
Excellent excellent piece.
M xx
PS and good luck with it all :))
Thank you so much!! :~D
– Amy Levos
I know this feeling well. the feeling of losing a friend, gaining, them back, and the myriad of emotions that go with each phase. i was planning to write a similar piece, but just of the loss and missing them. your words are beautiful and hit the nail square on the head. some friends are like a bad penny… they just keep coming back lol you’re such an amazing writer!
Honestly…I just went through MORE drama with #1, and I’m fighting the bitterness once again, and my gut feeling of being DONE with that one has been reinforced. I can’t see past the frustration right now. Hopefully this will help me remember that there WERE good times once upon a time.
I’m overdue for conversations with #s 2 & 3. :~)
– Amy Levos