Short Cut Bacon and the Brown Onion Bin...

She hurried now to do the shopping
she was late and time was hopping
grab the trolley.. gee… her back was achin’
to the deli now for a kilo of bacon

her eyes widened and with a smile so dandy
she had spotted a yummy piece of “eye candy”
Ten years her junior but my he was HOT
tried to stop staring but alas she could not

Smile so bright he was purely delicious
Another quick glimpse so he wasn’t suspiscious
Butt so cute and blonde of hair
Four short cut bacon he ordered there
she watched him leave her eyes grew dim
a second chance perve he was near the onion bin

over she hurried for another good look
bent over near him and four onions she took
grabbed her trolley and went on her way
what a nice sight… he’d made her day

three aisles in she looked down in dismay
she’d taken his trolley whilst perving away
in her trolley she stared with dread
she hadn’t grabbed two loaves of wholemeal bread
she looked hard ….but there was no mistakin’
she’d grabbed the trolley with his short cut bacon

further now she had a browse
swapped the trollies she’d done but how??
like a mad woman she did race and tear
should she stop …run a comb through her hair
back still aching and hurtin’ were her bunions
an almighty quest to find the man who also got onions

find the man the one on which she’d perved
Dilemna told ..he seemed quite unnerved
swapping the groceries to and fro
oh dear Lord what a state of woe
embarrassed now her heart all a flutter
he walked away with a smile and a mutter

there’s a moral now to this tale
perving is lovely but to no avail
the mistake surely did make her blush
but oh my goodness he was rather lush!!!!

© SimplyRed 2010

Short Cut Bacon and the Brown Onion Bin... by 

This is a true story….I was guilty of having a wee look at some “eye candy” in our local supermarket He was roughly 10 yrs younger than me …..I perved not once but twice and in my bemused and blood rushed state …I accidently took his trolley by mistake and had to chase (the poor unsuspecting victim of my lustful thoughts ) him halfway round the supermarket to get my trolley of goodies back…to say I was a TAD embarrassed is an understatement …..

thanks to John for the inspiration ……..

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  • Arcadia Tempest
    Arcadia Tempestover 4 years ago

    LMAO :O))))
    You’re so funny and naughty
    I loved it you perving woman
    wholemeal bread in your cart
    and a wee wish for something
    with a young smiling stallion ;O)

  • and a bloody right royal stuff up when I had the wrong trolley my god…I was breathing so hard and fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack..the funny thing was when i got home and told my partner he laughed and said serve me right for perving and I said I bet the poor guy went home and told his wife some “old biddy” was stalking him in the supermarket …cant buy bacon without thinking about it xx

    – SimplyRed

  • Rocky Loder
    Rocky Loderover 4 years ago

    thats awesome…love it…

  • thanks… as always Rocky xx

    – SimplyRed

  • lisameryl
    lisamerylover 4 years ago

    Hey Red!!! I LOVE IT…I LOVE IT…I LOVE IT! What a fine piece of bacon he was making you blush for he was indeed lush! You made me laugh and smile so hard the back of my ears hurt! I felt like I was with you in the deli wearing my dark shaded eyeglasses on the chase too…meows! (LOL) If you ever run into him again, send him my way for he sounds lush indeed! Peace and love be with you always! Lisa =) XO

  • he was a rather succulent dish hehhee

    – SimplyRed

  • Cosimo Piro
    Cosimo Piroover 4 years ago

    Ha ha….what a hoot! There’s an art to perving (so I’ve been told) but have never mastered its subtle glances….I always get busted! Great write, enjoyable read, and thanks for reminding me to do the shopping. xo

  • when you "hone your skills "can you give me a few tips it really was kinda funny later …phew I have never seen him there since lol :))

    – SimplyRed

  • hollypaino
    hollypainoover 4 years ago

    Love it…time to go shopping! Ah damn, it’s too late to do that now :) xx

  • OMG I have wanted to put this experience in writing ever since it happened …thanks for your comments hehehe

    – SimplyRed

  • chitrali
    chitraliover 4 years ago

    LOL!….and hilarious…think i’m heading out to the supermarket to get my share of..erm… bacon? (even tho i’m a vego!)..:):)..xx chitrali

  • glad you enjoyed this…I didnt think it was too funny at the time but can laugh at myself now xx

    – SimplyRed

  • Pete Klimek
    Pete Klimekover 4 years ago

    Nice one! Shopping can be fun, though often confusing & those distractions amid the various choices of products – we need, we want…

  • my word yes we do need and we do want :))

    – SimplyRed

  • timbuckley
    timbuckleyover 4 years ago

    must be careful shopping with you I go for melons what veg for you? lol

  • if they are great looking vegies I dont mind them all lol xx

    – SimplyRed

  • LisaMM
    LisaMMover 4 years ago

    deliciously delightful Red..had me chuckling as i read this. :-))))

  • thanks Lisa had me nearly wetting my pants when i had to go get my trolley hehehe

    – SimplyRed

  • sandra22
    sandra22over 4 years ago

    Hehe Red
    What a fun adventure and party story to share…bet you cringe everytime you think of it, but sounds as if it was worth the peek. …:))
    sandra x

  • oh he sure was worth the peek but OMG if you had of seen me racing aroud the supermarket with the trolley on two wheels heheheh

    – SimplyRed

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