You would be forgiven for thinking this is some perky Australian beach scene. You might even be forgiven for thinking it’s been pimped beyond all decency, but no, it really did look pretty much like this. It’s not Oz though, just a little bit of Birsay, on the NW coast of Orkney. Nice and sunny yes, but warm – not really. Full knitted swimming costumes required. Carpeted resuscitation rooms available on request. Book early to avoid disappointment.