photo boxes and red leather shoes
Time doesn’t always erase the pain
photo boxes and red leather shoes belongs to the following groups:
! Creative Writing & Poetry !, "Poetry and Beautiful Women" , All Out Emotion, Core [C.O.R.E], Creative, Talented, and Unknown, Everyday Life, Feminine Intent (LIMIT TWO IMAGES PER DAY), Freedom to Shine, Graphic Scratch, Live, Love, Dream: , Masterpieces: Literary Workshop, Moms 4 Art, Pleasure & Pain, Shameless Self-Promotion, THE SISTERHOOD, Up & Coming Writers and WMGtoday we went through
the remnants of you
a box of school papers,
drawings of stick people
long and strong, standing like
the pillars they were for you
I help your mom decide
what to keep and what to give away
we find your favorite shoes
the ones I bought
the day after you moved in with me
funny how shoes
can mean so much
a world of memories in worn red leather
and white shoelaces
I hug them for a while
as your mom reads a letter she found
where you confess your young love
but never sent it
did they ever know?
perhaps it was your secret
(until now)
your entire life
reduced down to small flashes
kept in a box
I pick up a photo of you
when you were 1 year old
our bald copper-skinned baby
that always smiled at strangers
and ran to me whenever I was around
your sweet angel face
looks back with such innocence,
I find myself choking the tears back
for fear that you could read it on my face
that you would be diagnosed the next year
and carry the weight of a lifetime of
sickness and fighting for your life
with traces of happiness squished in between
my brave niece, never blaming
never angry
always finding ways to enjoy life
despite the hospitals, needles, and pain
always comforting rather than being comforted
your warm flesh and soft hand
my best memories of you
I put the photo down
and hide it in the bottom of the pile
so that you, my beautiful little baby,
cannot see the design
from the telling sadness in my eyes
that you would die at 19
and leave us behind
hugging your shoes
and reading your letters
and not wanting to let anything go
to hold on to each piece and fragment
so we stop feeling like we’re losing more of you
than we already have
Del Millar
A treasure of a poem as is the subject to treausre in memories.
I am picturing you hugging those red shoes,
my heart goes out to you, my eyes are full of tears reading this and for your loss,
and for the beautiful loving you; that your niece had you in her life is a
blessing, and she will know your poem and be smiling her love throughout your life.
lots of love to you PJ oxo
ShadowDancer replied
thank you sooooo much del… it was an emotionally draining day, and drudged up a lot of feelings, but it gave us a day to pay homage together to this beautiful girl growing into a woman that we lost too soon. i feel like i was graced by a living angel and am just so thankful to have known her.
MissAlexis
Wow. So powerful, and amazing. Great piece, it drips with your sorrow.
ShadowDancer replied
thank you Alexis, so much… it’s been hard for me to write about losing her, it’s been 6 months now, bottled up inside me. it’s a hole inside of me that nobody else can fill.
MissAlexis
Healing is a process I never enjoyed going through or dealing with, but once you’re on the other side, you won’t believe how you’ve changed. Hang in there love. :)
ShadowDancer replied
Thanks Alexis.. it’s never easy but journeys never are. I appreciate your sweet support.
Angela Harelson
Truly an amazing and powerful piece. Those we cherish, tied tightly to our hearts…it’s devastating when we lose them so young, too soon. Prayers and love to you and yours.
ShadowDancer replied
Too true, Angela, it can be so hard to deal with. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Astoreth
I cried with you as I read this beautiful writing and I know this kind of pain as it reminded me so much of losing my beautiful young nephew at the tender age of sixteen and when my sister and I went through his belongings ….... there is no pain quite like it. I hate the term that ‘time heals everything’ because it most certainly does not but what I have experienced is that it dulls the pain to make it a bit more bearable, which is the best we can hope for in this life. Big hugs and kisses to you darling one. xxxx
ShadowDancer replied
Jane, thank you so much… I know that everyone experiences death, losing someone you love.. I have many times in my life.. but losing someone so young, so precious, i thought it wouldn’t be this hard. it’s hard to explain to others, i feel comfort knowing you understand. i’m so sorry for your loss as well (and to your sister).. some pain just doesn’t go away but you are right, we learn how to deal with it and continue living. my greatest inspiration is feeling like i need to live for her… i’ve started taking a different path, doing things i normally wouldn’t have, because i got the chance to keep going i want to not take that in vain. that’s the best i can do.
Cassey
This is a gorgeous and heart wrenching tribute to someobe who meant so much to you. I felt every word and every tear. Great writing PJ.
ShadowDancer replied
thank you so much cass…. it means so much to me.
silverstrummer...
Your words are such an accolade for your niece and the lovely memories that you have gleaned over the years will eventually make you smile as you remember those happy times. Pain does ease but also takes time to do this.My partner lost her daughter when she was two and a half and still 30 years down the road the hurt is still there but not as much. My sincere condolences to you and your family. – David
ShadowDancer replied
oh david, you’ve been a pillar for me knowing we share some of the same pain.. i hope you & your family are blessed and cope well with the things they are dealing with. my neice was such a special person, even at her funeral people would smile and laugh in remembrance of her sweet quirky soul. she will be missed, and i won’t let her be forgotten. xx
Ushna Sardar
awesome!
ShadowDancer replied
thank you!!!
Lenroe
Tears are streaming down my face. Your writing touched my soul. Your life will have great blessings because your niece touched the souls of everyone who knew her. She is an inspiration and through you and her loved one’s she will live. (If you haven’t already you really need to show this to all her loved one’s.) You made me a stranger feel love.
ShadowDancer replied
Oh Lenroe, thank you so much for your words of warmth and wisdom… I hadn’t decided if I would share this with the family, as I’m a little private, but with your encouragement I did send it to my sister (her mother).. I truly thank you, your comment meant the world to me.
erika15
Oh wow, I am speechless, this one hit me like a rock. So deep and meaningful and emotional, I’m choking back tears. Amazing, heartfelt poem.
By the way, congrats on your feature. X
ShadowDancer replied
erika, i’m honored that this resonated within you… thank you for visiting and sharing your thoughts.
Narcissus17
very sad. i’m a snob for the classical; this italian opera made the read much worse – or better, for what it provoked. beautiful in that really sad way i guess. brilliant poem.
ShadowDancer replied
yeah i’ve had to stay away from sad opera these days, well, months actually… love them but they make me go deep inside myself. thank you for sharing how this touched you, it means a lot to me.
blackvixen
I will have to admit….as i read this i hadta hold back ma tears…...impecable writting…....i sooooo luuuurve this…..
ShadowDancer replied
blackvixen, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. it touches me to know my writing touched you.. thank you.
Shoaib .
BiographyofRed8
This made me want to cry. Especially the holding onto the reminants of a person, those small things that were apart of who the person was.. and not letting go, not wanting to. Hold on to those parts of her forever
((((((huggles))))))))
ShadowDancer replied
Thank you red.. it means a lot to me… it’s a deep feeling when you realize ‘stuff’ is all you have left of someone you loved so much… sometimes it’s not easy to balance what to hold on to and what to let go of, but we always have the memories.. and how precious they become.
cathrinedp
So powerful and sad and filled with longing. You just blow me away with your energy
ShadowDancer replied
cat, and i’m blown away by your wonderful comment, thank you truly.
Rhenastarr
Beautiful, emotional, painful and exquisitely expressed. My sympathies to you. Congrats on your well deserved features.
ShadowDancer replied
oh rhena, thank you greatly for sharing, and for your support.. i didn’t really expect this to be so well received here as it was more personal for me than about writing as an art… but that makes the appreciation more important to me. again, thank you.