Inner Child

The last night of December,
the winds rush heavily towards the dark moist forests.
(Sunken cheekbones of the dark haired girl
still cling to my memory like flesh to withered ribs.)

Water runs down the side of my face in an attempt to wash away
the sticky pains of ended loves, forgotten dreams, and
desperate last attempts to heal an infected wound.
(Her eyes are dark glowing embers embedded in full black spheres,
telling all her little secrets with a breath of disillusionment.)

She escaped from my grasp in a second, ghostly smoke,
like a long-awaited word floating away into fog.
(Her mouth opens, agape, mouthing cries choked by
tree roots and weeds never to be heard in the thick brush of the Ozarks.)

I have misplaced her, not knowing the intimate reason why.
Perhaps it was thick assurance that she would drown in sappy residue
of the thoughts that ate every last scrap of my heart.
Her voice, shrill, like glass breaking on a cold winter night.
(Reminders of my sun-dried dreams
still echoes, reverberating;
still echoes, everlasting.)

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Thoughts turning inward as the year closes.. reflections of where i’ve been, who i am… who i was…

Incidentally, this is the first poem I’ve written actually in the redbox ‘box’… trying to burn my security blanket, my need to use word to spellarize, grammartize, and perfectize every painstaking word. I’m feeling quite naked. We’ll see how this goes.

I am a dreamer, artist, and mother. I dance in the rain, spend too much time reading books, and live for my family. I am a gypsy, poet, musician, and artist. But most of all, I am a butterfly fairy. Come dream with me.

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  • ufosIsee
    ufosIseealmost 6 years ago

    Loved the way you coated the inner parts with consideration and caution.. Understanding… Nice.

  • Oh thanks, I re-read this morning, what a disaster.. made some changes to it if you want to re-look. Curse RBs lack of formatting options for writers.

    – ShadowDancer

  • Rebekah  Anderson
    Rebekah Andersonalmost 6 years ago

    Really haunting. Incredible imagery. That’s some fantastic writing, Miss! And PS, I’m with ya on th formatting options!

  • Thank you so much Rebekah.. I’m thrilled by your comment. (all writers should send RB an email about the formatting thing.)

    – ShadowDancer

  • Leon A.  Walker
    Leon A. Walkeralmost 6 years ago

    Remarkably candid and introspective. You have a marvelous gift PJ!!!

  • Leon my sweet passionate friend, thank you so much for the compliment. I’m flying.

    – ShadowDancer

  • butchart
    butchartover 5 years ago

    who you were is who you are is who you shall always be…….. changing but staying the same…….. a child of both worlds……..

    beautiful writing………b

  • very elequontly put butch… thank you for your insightful comment

    – ShadowDancer

  • poeticgenius
    poeticgeniusover 5 years ago

    it’s was nicely put together alot of the person we’ve become was affected by our childhood I can relate to this in so many ways

  • pg, so glad to find you relating to this, and you are right, childhood is the mold for our future..

    – ShadowDancer

  • Pipple
    Pippleover 5 years ago

    I hope you find her and that she is now happy…you have to give your inner child a hug every now and then…I take mine for walks and see stars in prickly ugly bushes. This particular bush all gnarly and prickly and from a distance quite ugly until closer inspection the ends of the stems with all its prickly growth were shaped like stars and were a lighter green…So then when I stood back all I coud see was a bush covered in stars…wow did that bush suddenly transform into something magic and my inner child was mesmorised. Sorry to waffle on…but your piece reminded me of how a happy inner child can create magic.

  • Hello Pipple… my inner child is quite safe, i’m very protective of her, whereas most people bury their inner child as they grow older, i try oh-so-hard to keep her alive and burning inside my soul.. the poem i wrote as based more on imagination, what it would be like to bury her. you are very wise in spending one-on-one time with yours, as i believe like you, it’s the key to keeping the magic and awe in the world going. thank you for your wonderful comment, i look forward to sharing magic again with you.

    – ShadowDancer

  • linaji
    linajiover 2 years ago

    Feb 2012

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