Step right up folks and prepare to be amazed by Dr. Caldwell and Associate’s Miracle Snake Oil!
It’s the product with a billion uses!
Tired of hearing the rusty hinges on that screen door squeak every time you’re headin’ out back to squeezle the weasel in the ol’ tool shed?
Dr. Caldwell and Associates have just the thing to fix that squeak, Snake Oil baby!
It doesn’t just fix rusty hinges either, no sir! What we have here is a bona fide, certified, warrantied, guaranteed substitute for kerosene, astroglide, morphine, taurine and regicide!
Yes Sir! What we’ve got here is a real humdinger of a bargain! For just three shilling short of what you’d get if you sold your wife’s daughter into sexual slavery for down at the pier, you could take home an entire drum of Dr. Caldwell and Associates Miracle Snake Oil! Hey big spender! Wife on your back about the daughter you sold to the crew of a Shanghai junk? Just soak a rag in Dr. Caldwell and Associates Miracle Snake Oil and she’ll be out like a light in seconds.
Chemotherapy costs an arm and a leg but snake oil is cheap! Cheap! Cheap!
Come on folks, my babys gotta eat!
I wrote this back in dickety two when I waz in the medicinal show business