If only

I WANT TO FAV IT A 1000 TIMES NO LESS!!!!

gorgeous!

oh this is really great great great writing

If only I’d talked more been more sensitive had a hart been a good lover interested
flirted less stopped being jealous cared more had a child stop bragging stayed home work less been romantic drink less less superficial went to the dentist done house choirs
not been a couch potato

She’d still be here…

Strong…nice style to it.

Geez, this is too perfect. It made me smile and ache all at once.
I love the pace of it, it fits that place so well.

Perfect. Unpunctuated , it rambles in just the right volume of hopelessness – not despair, but absurdity at the things we are willing to do for another.

I use WAY too many commas… You don’t. It’s refreshing.

i’m exhausted just reading this… by the lengths and breadths and scope of the how-to-be-perfect barometer we measure ourselves by for another… perfect ramble wishful unpunctuated prose.

oh wow this just killed me. perfect perfect perfect.

I can’t really relate to this poem because I have the urge to reply, all of the wonderful things you are he didn’t deserve. and you are you.

No.. I am happy to have conversations about poems, I see the humor (sort of a quirky black humor) and I got that, my response was just based on highlighting (perhaps also reminding myself) of the same thing =D

excellent flow, it’s really lyrical and has a tune of it’s own.

i love the honesty, the tongue in cheek optimism (or is it pessimism? both i think lol)

Wonderful flow, beautifully put… all in all excellent. Basically how everyone feels when their love leaves, indeed.

fantastic writing, fun, relatable and very human x

The style of continual write…..perfek. It pleaded away in me as I read and then I thought….he was uncooked no gravy. X

i like commas… i think you should like commas too :p

Great , He was’nt worth anyhow_{we can all relate to this at some stage.
right to the point}cool

That’s right, put my heart through the blender! Wonder if they ever find what exactly it is they’re looking for, or if the impossible illusion keeps them chasing that old rainbow to the grave?

Haunting. Well done.

this is just brilliant, i love it i love it i love it. its a fave!

well played. a resonant short piece that speaks a thousand words.

Now this is Poetry!

put on 20 kg’s shave ur head and be taken 4 who u r LOL well written :)

ah but what if you did all those things and he left anyway? you’d be burdened with all this blame and nowhere to set it down… :-P

Great stuff

I love this. Too often the focus becomes what we aren’t rather than what we are…......This is excellent. Funny but not really so when we are made to feel less than we are by someone we care about.

My new ragdoll kitten isn’t has cuddly as I’d like & he wants to play on the ground rather than sit on my lap while I type

I see progress in this tortured humor…Bravo!!! :O) I love it!

Love the black humour and irony of this piece of writing, you said it all, without saying very much at all. :-)

WONDERFUL WORK HE WASNT WORTH WORRYING ABOUT THOUGH IF HE WANTED THIS MUCH CHANGE. I bet you replace him with a real Person with a high reality factor. ” – )))

Very cool – instant favourite.

I love it, I especially love the underlying ‘fuck him’. Just spot on an great!

wonderful piece, love it.

I love this piece. It made me think…
The irony put a guilty smile on my face.

This made me very sad. But I love it all the same! The no punctuation really does make a big impact on the pace of the poem.
Very well done!!

wow… this does make me smile… beautiful ! ;0D

I’ve asked these questions before, and always reached the same conclusion; he’d have left that person too, if it was me.

like this piece… so many women (and men) think this to themselves every day. the funny thing about it is that it doesn’t even matter. people who don’t love you for who you are, and not who they want you to be, don’t really love you.

Short to the pont and says so much…love it

yeah if only but remember its life and life only.

such bittersweet side of life, you’ve written there :) Love it…

amazing! just amazing!

Raw. I Like this allot! :D

As a bit of a grammar freak seeker, I was at first appalled…and then delighted. Very much enjoyed it.

I love it… check out my work and tell me what you think.

it is the ’’if only’’ and ’’what if’’ game that haunts us. It is the ’’this is what it is’’ game that allows us to heal.
Beautiful and intimate writing in a really simplistic manner. Brilliant.

If only we realised that “everything is exactly as it ought to be” ........ and the ‘if only’s’ don’t even enter the equation. I enjoyed. xx

I’m really impressed.
You and I have a similar style, I think. And furthermore, you’ve got a really great grasp on the way the mind works in that epically intricate and shitty time post-break-up.

Nice piece!

Hauntingly beautiful,
and so true…

the dreaded ..if only…!!...love how you wrote this : )

Quite Cool

Such a wonderful (if soul-destroyingly sad) sentiment. Of course we all have regrets, and I think this captures them so beautifully. The piece is is definite, and yet it asks so many questions. Wonderful and touching.

i am just dumbfounded – this is so brilliant

If only you had some self confidence.

Oh, this is wonderful.

BRILLIANT!

So simple… but really really good.
It reminds me of stream of conciousness or something like that.
Really cool.

it was an exercise reading this without punctuation and because of that ~ it demanded a different kind of attention and rhythm ~ and realizing how that kind of self talk is…very well done in turning that internal gnashing into words to share ~ I hope bringing it to the page helped to see it in a different way…xx

Marvellous work, and therefore my first written word favourite :-)

Isn’t it the truth… keep it up.. brilliant…

very intense and very funny

great writing

Beautifully written, and for me, very hauntingly sad. I think different people, and women in particular, will read your work in a different way. I could have written the same words a few years back before I married my husband, but my final words would have been “before I left” as opposed to your “he wouldn’t have left”.

I don’t sense you wrote this as funny. I sense something deeper, and maybe I’m wrong, but it was well enough written to make me stop, read, feel and think. Keep writing, you have a gift for getting to the heart.

Hi Seeker, you definitely touched my heart with this work, and that says a lot about you as a person, and as an artist. I agree in total about the interplay between artwork and the audience, and to each of us, something will mean something different.

I really relate to your style of writing, and am going to be a happy follower. :)

Obviously inspiring… Carole’s response. This would be a great example piece for many therapy groups :) I just may have to write my own reflection to give voice the absurdities that can play through my mind and then find the delete key!

perfect post-breakup note, without bitterness of the silliness that happens between two people who once loved eachother

Your grammar is awful. I think that’s why he left, screw all the other excuses.

On a less serious note, I commend you for turning to writing to see the flip-side of life. :)

Ps. Just to avoid and drama.. I was being sarcastic, and yes I’m new to Redbubble! I should get the word out there that I have a penchant for sarcasm and it’s use in dealing with the difficult issues in life.

that is so fantastic.
i liked how it was one whole sentence, it makes sense being that way.
great work.

omg this is really good. i liked the poem, the way u wrote it, everything about it
GREAT JOB!!! (:

This is fantastic, and tells so much about what really goes though a person’s mind when their lover leaves! I’m just impressed. Very well written!

great peace makes me think of every time i talked to a girl in a club and what because the music was to loud brilliant deep and yet erotic nice job

If only… sigh! Great writing!!! VERY NICE!

Wow! How dangerous it is for us to think of the “what ifs?” ... excellent!

short but powerful. great!
congratulations on the feature :D

Truth…..but better off without him….powerful….I LOVE IT!!

Do you feel sorry for yourself. You are trying to do it for him not you

Really nice poem.
i like the final statement you brought the poem together nicely at the end.
keep being true to yourself.
=]

this is a good insight into the mind of a woman.
i noticed most of your comments are from girls and just stopped by Again to give you a young mans approval
=]

soooo, so goood :))))
if only ;/

Love this and dont we all have our ‘if only’s’. Shar

very real writing…I understand where you are coming from…and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, that your perfect just the way that you are….

perfectly written..I does seem real..

very touching!!

well I hope you get over your broken relationship,,, reminds me of a poem I read long time ago
but nice pastiche using your own words and obvious creativity,,,,,

Reminds me of how my mom feels every time my dad leaves and comes back, which he dose every few years you kind of get used to the feeling of losing loved ons for various reasons.

This reminds me of my sister.
She was check out guys when we were kids… and I would ask her… “what about that guy? do you think he’s cute?” And she then reply, ” well maybe, maybe if he was taller, maybe if his nose was smaller, I don’t like his teeth,etc,etc.”
I would then nod and say… “so basically if he was a completely different dude..fair enough”

We would laugh…. we still do when we bring up that story to her fiance. So I’m happy to say that she found that special someone that loves her just the way she is… and vice versa for her.

I really enjoyed your piece, it brought back this memory for me:)

- Mari

An inventive piece of work, it’s so right and to the point of any person’s mind frame. It makes you really think about things in an open light. Thanks for sharing your poem.

That made me tear up!! and you are right, it takes ALOT of self-love to get through this and strong faith in Kismet. Well done :)

beautiful piece of writing

The hell with him then!
Your a strong person for writing this. I admire that xxx

Wow! this is moving and to tell you the truth chickie, I have thought of the same things myself , if I was this or if I was that wondering if the outcome would have ended differently.

i’m with erika! screw him! what an incredibly strong piece of writing!

Yes he would!.......real love cares nothing for those things!......the woman I love told me that “love is not enough”........She was wrong….One day love will prove her so!
You are better in uncertainty of true love than in certainty of false!