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The knife keeps me occupied

The knife keeps me occupied
When emotion takes control
My tears are like a river now
Flowing through and through
Mixing with the red of my blood
And streaking my leg with its glory

I guess it was a sign to me
To tell me something was wrong
Go get help and save myself
From my deadly spell

My life is not so different now
The feelings are still there
But since I found myself
I can only fear

My knife no longer cuts my skin
No longer makes the streaks
But still when the pain comes
I’ll pull out my razor blade

I guess I’ve gotten better
I guess I’m ok
But I was the one who saved me
On that faithful day

Every now and then I wonder
What could have happened
Had I finished myself
Left it all behind

I know I would have been ashamed
But loved it all the same
To know that it was over
All my pain retained

My hope is completely gone
Dying among delight
No one memory I have
Can I remember feeling pure joy

All these recollections
Strengthen my will to die

I’m still scared of myself
Not wanting to remember

How I felt two days ago
When my death consumed me

The painful thoughts are still there
And they will never leave
But this is my life and I have to live it
For now that’s how I feel

Tomorrow I will feel the pain
Lingering in my thoughts
Like the pain usually does
Going on and off

Making me sink deeper and deeper
Into my somber depression
Ill remember there’s nothing left to live for
No point in moving on

But that might be tomorrow
Or maybe the day after
Though no matter how hard I try
The feelings won’t go away
Of how I miss my faithful knife
that stands by me today

The knife keeps me occupied

scarletfever

Morley LEEDS, United Kingdom

  • Artist
    Notes

Artist's Description

i dont know if i wrote this it was so long ago but its very moving

Tags

knife

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