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diary of a singleton

its over , im no longer with child yesterday i had the baby teerminated, abborted, taken away. as if it never existed, and how do i feel about that. if im honest im devostated but im not gonna shead a tear. it was my dessision and in the current situation it was the only option, the man that once said he loved me made his feelings quite clear, replacing me with in days of braking up if not before. i feel lowere than ever , empty inside, i have a great feelig of loss. like something has died within me. and i guess that is true. what can i do now, where can i go from here. my heart still yearns and calles out for him in my sleep. i should be relived but im not i should be elated as my situation which has been so greem over passing weeks has been resolved but however i SHOULD be feeling im not. i feel worse than ever and yet i have to grin and bear the fact that the one i thought was for me is now sleeping with another woman. holding her like he once held me. althought he says he can not love her yet. its still there. not only that but i was asked by him if i had met anyone if i had been with anyone. as he would feel hurt. how could he ask me that if he understud how i was feeling he would know not to ask questions. its unfair for him to ask me that when he is already killing me with the fact that he is caring for some one like he once cared for me, and now im lost i have nothing left, no life no home to call my own, no love to cherish forever no baby to love nothing im am nothing

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