confused and alone

my heart and my head are in tattors, i know what i want and what i want is him, i saw him, i felt it , i felt the embrace of love again when he huged me, but was it just a lie, was he just saying he missed me to make me feel better. giving me a fauls hope that maybe things could be, i dont know what i do know is my heart is unchanging every time i see his name flash up on my phone my heart skips a beat.

but why should he want me why should anyone want some one like me. im not special, theres nothing good about me why should any one say they love me, he used to say it all the time, i miss that, i miss his smell i miss his eyes i miss the way he used to stare at me even thought i used to tell him off for it, i mis how he used to cuddle me on the sofa how he always tryed to make me smile even thougth id try my hardest to resist, i miss more than any one the way he made me feel like i was so loved even when i was feeling so crap. the way he used to touch me and hold me i miss most. but does he miss me. did he ever miss me when he said it , did he ever love me when he said it. ill never know and i dont know wat hurts more the fact that i never gave him a chance to really love me or the fact that hes already replaced me with every guy they have replaced me weather it be with a nother girl or somthing else, i feel lost, im sitting , laying in my room alone always with only the tv for company. my parents want me to go down and sit with them but i cant sit there and listen to them trying to be normal.

i feel like screaming, but i dont want any one to hear my crys, i wont to be held tight i want to be loved like only he knew how, i wish i wish . . . but . . . theres no point and another day goes by like every other where i cry and feel sorry for my self ,, what a pathetic life i have i will not give up on him , i will do my hardest to fiight for him,

i love him, my heart aches for him my head my heart my body and my sole are misserable and empty with out him.

i feel used and abbandoned, i want him! i just need to see him. and i need to show him but when hes with her he changes , he talks to me like i never existed i try pour my heart out to him and realise he didnt really care!

i cry i sleep i need , i love, i want i, miss him!

if your out there feel my pain and loss, because its as if you have died i want you to live again in my heart with me forever like you always said.

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