sotoday was the day of reconing, i got my slef checked out, pocked proded and pricked (with needles that is) i had my consultation at the doctors to sort out this horrible mess. one thing that this whole thing has tought me is not to just sit on my lorals as it were and pray it will go away cos next time it’ll either be too late or well kill me. anyway today was interesting i got to the hospital early and i still had to wait i was put on the scails taken in with the nurse to check details went for an ultra sound which was very scary, i saw the baby on the screen! its less than a milimeter at the moment but it has fingers toas and a face its very un nerving not only that but i saw the heart beat. they wouldnt let me have the scan pictures somthing to do with the fact im not keeping it and it not beeing mentaly sound or somthing
im not of sound mental mind anyway then i got shoved in and out of waiting rooms and consultants rooms then finaly got to see the doctor who did a few pokes and prods and then sent me of to get my blood tests. which took for ever i was waiting for over an hour , and im not good with needles anyway and she ramed it in it was so pain full (and im used to pain forgod sake ive done it enought to me self)anyway done over for that waited for ever for a taxi then i had the chance to talk to him only for bout 20 minutes but it made a difference , reaferming my feelings straight away (not that they needed it) totaly in love like the first time we kissed! i still remember the day the upstairs at exchange. but thats when things were great, i still have hope and i still believe that some time soon things will be how they should be.
i will keep you up to date as my termination isnt till next thursday