Scott A. Ray

I don’t know why I do what I do sometimes. I blame my bipolar for most of the things I do, but is that really it? I’m 44 years old and for at least the last 20 years I have been screwing up my life. I have been happy before and had a good life and for some reason I did something to screw it up. The most recent was I hurt the women I love. We were together for a long time and in this case it was…

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I am

Scott
Scotty to a select few
father
grandfather
photographer
thinker
lover
friend

I am

bipolar
manic
depressed
tired of living
afraid of dying
a man who has left the world
ashamed of the crying
out of control
scared
lost
engulfed in sorrow
terrified
empty
angry

I am not what you think I am

I am human

I am Real

Can my mind out think my heart?
Can my heart out feel my mind?

My mind tells me it’s wrong.

My heart tells me it’s right.

My mind tells me I want it.

My heart tells me I need it.

My mind tells me to fight it.

My heart tells me to give in to it.

My mind my heart which one is wrong?
My heart my mind which one is right?

I wrote this to fit many different things. Married m…

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Love thy neighbor
until he
robs you
rapes you
or becomes
president.

Have you ever prayed to God to take you instead of someone else? I have and I don’t care who it is. I just want God to pick me.