I feel like my washing machine has defeated me every time I throw in the towel.
What if this wasn’t a hypothetical question?
My friend asked what time it was.
I said “It’s 900 dollars.”
He replied “Wait, you mean 9 o’clock right?”
Then I yelled “TIME IS MONEY!”
I think the trees are planning to takeover. I suspect treason… But dangit, it’s too obvious. Trees. Treason. I jet hope the bushes aren’t committing bushon. I’d be so pissed.
I think my head is too fat. People keep telling me it’s all in my head.
A bionic hotdog is a robrat.
My police cover band got arrested. For impersonating an officer.
Being a standup comedian requires writing and saying a lot of weird and stupid things. You never really know what’s funny until you put it out there. These are some thoughts that i’m trying to turn into jokes.