I got the letter. The one that says you have been picked at random to be on a jury. For the fourth time. What’s so damn random about that?!? When will Gold Lotto pick me at random like that? I don’t want to do it. I don’t participate in crime. Ok a little bit of piracy but that’s socially acceptable. Right? Anyway I kinda forgot about the letter for a while and it got filed under E (for everything).
I was being nagged about submitting the letter to work so that I could get out of it. Everyone was telling me. Even I started to worry.
I turned the house upside down and finally found the envelope amongst my library books. Shit! I was a week late with the deadline. To top it off, at the top of the questionnaire, were the words:
If late
$750 penalty
2 months imprisonment
Well those are the words that stood out. (Not one of my haikus by the way). SHIT! surely forgetting to fill in paper work is not worth 750 bucks. I’m too good looking to go to jail. I don’t need that kind of “Popularity”. I rang my work on my day off and they said they couldn’t get me out of it anymore. Then they gave me a lecture about organizing my life. I don’t need a lecture you assholes. What happened to team work you fricken hypocrites?
My heart and mind were racing. I rang the Sheriff’s office. The nice lady assured me that nothing would happen and to get the questionnaire in as soon as I could. Everything would be ok. Phew!
Why the hell do these bureaucrats put us through these nightmares? I mean the thought of paying $750 or going to jail is a little harsh for a simple man like myself. I don’t need this kind of worry. I’m a good person. I think.
So what they are saying in the end is:
If I dodge jury duty I will be going to the big house for 2 months. By avoiding jury duty I will actually give them reason to select another jury and the whole horrible cycle starts again. What a great money making scam. Criminals!
True Story.
Jury Duty Blues
My tangle with the Sheriff.
Peter Coleman, 8 months ago
Yup, one of the girls who i work with has been called up for the second time, doesn’t sound random to me. Maybe there is only a few resposible people left and they have to keep on using the same people.
zee1, 8 months ago
I’m silent on the electrol role so I don’t think I can be called.
To make up for it though when ever I travel O/S I am always picked for extra secuity checks. One US trip of 7 internal US flights I got selected 6 times, hmmmmm so random.
CDCcreative, 8 months ago
Ha Ha, I shouldn’t laugh but the ending to your story is very amusing. Criminals indeed.
I managed to get out of jury duty last time, measured the distance it would take, estimated travel time and one of the reasons for refusing was something to do with too great a distance to travel. I just fit in with that, by my reckoning anyway.
mawaho, 8 months ago
I too have been called twice and I had a good excuse to get out of it the first time. Second time around I could have used the distance clause to get out of it again but I was curious and wanted to participate. On the day I went in and out of court rooms being dismissed each time by the defence. At the time it made me feel that I wasn’t good enough, but I’m so glad that I wasn’t chosen. There’s enough human misery on TV.
Alan Reading, 8 months ago
I think I managed to not get picked! Woohoo! Now that’s justice in action people! I love our courts system!