I got the letter. The one that says you have been picked at random to be on a jury. For the fourth time. What’s so damn random about that?!? When will Gold Lotto pick me at random like that? I don’t want to do it. I don’t participate in crime. Ok a little bit of piracy but that’s socially acceptable. Right? Anyway I kinda forgot about the letter for a while and it got filed under E (for everything).
I was being nagged about submitting the letter to work so that I could get out of it. Everyone was telling me. Even I started to worry.
I turned the house upside down and finally found the envelope amongst my library books. Shit! I was a week late with the deadline. To top it off, at the top of the questionnaire, were the words:
2 months imprisonment
Well those are the words that stood out. (Not one of my haikus by the way). SHIT! surely forgetting to fill in paper work is not worth 750 bucks. I’m too good looking to go to jail. I don’t need that kind of “Popularity”. I rang my work on my day off and they said they couldn’t get me out of it anymore. Then they gave me a lecture about organizing my life. I don’t need a lecture you assholes. What happened to team work you fricken hypocrites?
My heart and mind were racing. I rang the Sheriff’s office. The nice lady assured me that nothing would happen and to get the questionnaire in as soon as I could. Everything would be ok. Phew!
Why the hell do these bureaucrats put us through these nightmares? I mean the thought of paying $750 or going to jail is a little harsh for a simple man like myself. I don’t need this kind of worry. I’m a good person. I think.
So what they are saying in the end is:
If I dodge jury duty I will be going to the big house for 2 months. By avoiding jury duty I will actually give them reason to select another jury and the whole horrible cycle starts again. What a great money making scam. Criminals!