A penny earned is a penny saved but doesn’t mean diddly squat
when you factor in its true value and the rate of inflation.
Walk softly and carry a big stick and a 357 fully loaded with
To err is human and to forgive is simply an acknowledgement
of the error.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can really
lead to a shouting match that will make me want to jump
down your throat.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can get your kids to do
for you today.
A kind word turns away wrath only if it is heard by the one
who has it in for you; so use a megaphone.
Live life to the fullest but not every time you sit down at
the dinner table.
It’s not nice to fool mother nature unless it gets rid of the rain
storm before the start of the ball game.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth, its pretty ugly in there.
Haste makes waste if you’re paid by the hour.
Never burn your bridges unless your enemy is hot on your trail
and it’s a deep river.
Don’t count your chickens before your eggs hatch unless
you’re in the futures market.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him wash
your car with it.
Patience is a virtue only if you have the time for it.
All roads lead to Rome except for rural route 14; it starts out at
Possums Crossing and only goes as far as the corn silo in
If first you don’t succeed, try like the dickens to find the
instruction manual and take it from there.
An ounce of remedy is worth a pound of cure only if you live
in a state where it’s legal and used for medicinal purposes only.
Misery loves company and she doesn’t get very much of
it because of the stupid name her parents gave her.
If you lay an egg, fry it; you don’t want to see what might hatch.
Early to bed and early to rise, is impossible when you have
3 dogs, 2 cats, a bird, kids and a wife with credit cards. The
health, wealth and wisdom thing ain’t gonna happen either.
Behind every successful man is a woman who reaps
all the spoils.
There’s no use in crying over spilled milk; the embarrassment
alone should be quite adequate and there’s no sense for a
silly display of emotion.
Loose lips sink ships, but they’re great to smooch.
You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.
But why be intent on catching flies? Use a fly swatter
and be done with it.
Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
This one stays as is, you can’t twist perfection.
I wish I had ten dollars for every time I said; I wish I had a dollar.
Great minds think alike; at least that’s what we tell each other.
A friend in need is a friend indeed, just ask anyone who’s
ever won the Lottery.
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,
unless what you lost was the house, everything in your checking
and savings accounts, your retirement funds and 50% of your
gross salary from every paycheck till the day you die.
Just felt like being a little silly.
If you can think of one, leave it
in a comment, the more the merrier…
unless we’re talkin’ taxes!! LOL!