Chuck was just cleaning up some spilled milk when the phone rang. “Hello,” said Chuck as he balanced the phone receiver and a soaked rag dripping of milk. The voice on the other end introduced himself as Sherman Falk of the Law Offices of Sampson, Falk and Bossmann, then proceeded to ask Chuck some questions to verify that this was actually the person he had been trying to contact for several weeks. Chuck was thinking to himself that this could not be a good thing if a lawyer had business with him. Mr. Falk hesitated for a brief second and simply said, “I am sorry to have to tell you this over the phone but your great uncle Chester passed away three weeks ago, and being the executor of his estate to which you have been named as a co-inheritor of, you will be required to be at the reading of the will.” Now this totally took Chuck by surprise and after a short conversation with the lawyer about his uncle’s passing and the details of the reading of the will, Chuck sat down for a bit to reflect on his late great uncle Chester whom he had not seen since he spent a week visiting him as a young boy. The vague memories of that time came flooding back.
Chuck Remembered first walking into his great uncle’s house and hearing birds chirping and singing it seemed from every room in the house. He found out that birds were Chester’s passion and had bird cages in virtually in every room. Chuck recalled Chester taking him out on the lake for a morning of fishing and how he had accidentally dropped his great uncle’s tackle box into the water which of course immediately sank to the bottom and caused Chester to belt out a string of obscenities that would make a sailor blush. But then he patted Chuck on the head and said, “we all make mistakes and just have to live with them.” Chuck also recalled one evening over cookies and milk, Chester showing him his prized stamp collection and as Chuck’s luck would have it he managed to spill milk over a good part of the collection. This brought on a few more lines of profanities from Chester and another pardon with the reminder that mistakes happen. This memory also brought Chuck back to the present and to the task of cleaning up the milk he had spilled moments before Mr. Falk had called.
As the appointed day arrived and Chuck walked in to the Law Offices of Sampson, Falk and Bossmann, he was led to a conference room where he was greeted by Mr. Falk. To his amazement the only other person in the room was a very attractive young lady and Mr. Falk’s secretary. In the corner was an object covered with a red silk sheet. As the reading of the will started Chuck was surprised to learn that His great uncle Chester had amassed a very large amount of wealth during his life time. Through wise investments in some upstart companies, known today as IBM and Microsoft, Chester’s estate was worth over the 250 million mark. Chuck nearly fainted at the thought that his ship had finally come in. Mr. Falk then read, “to my great nephew Chuck I leave the most prized possession of my life”, at which time the secretary removed the red silk sheet to reveal a bird cage containing a single parrot, Mr. Falk continued, “this is Wally my favorite talking bird. And remember Chuck, we all make mistakes and have to live with them.” Wally the bird immediately started to utter strings of profanities and does so to this day. The girl in the room was a stripper named Bubbles who got the 250 million dollar estate. Mr. Falk looked at the exasperated Chuck and simply said, “it’s a shame, just a crying shame.
The on going saga of “Bad Luck Chuck”.
The poor guy never gets a break.
Hope you enjoy.