Her name was Bug

Thanks helene! I added a story to go with the image…just in case you missed it.

fabulous art, story and heritage!

Your color palette is evocative… and it, almost by itself tumbles me into a lively realm of feelings. Add your whimsical composition, the gentle humor you’ve found in your style and your sense of optimism in dealing with a provocative subject (both as an individual and as a story arc) and I’m overwhelmed by your voice.

Thanks for sharing Rochele,

Ted

lovely

Hi Rochelle,

I’ve been thinking about this painting and the story ever since you posted it, but I’ve felt blocked about saying anything at all. The ever present ‘you can’t voice’ is sitting right there on my shoulder tormenting me, holding me back.

Mentioning race and identity is for me still revolutionary, trangressive, provocative even and not for polite company. All this and yet I’ve been writing about it for over twelve or so years, trying to claw back my life and express what is real to me. But even after all this time I still feel like there is a thing stuck in my throat, something I’m not saying, something that is always holding me back. A secret self I am not declaring.

When I saw this story I remembered the writer William Faulkner saying that if a white man had to spend Saturday night as a black man he would have to kill himself. I remembered how my own family is divided into white and black. I remembered how my sons who can pass for white have now disowned me. And how my own daughter feels obliged to make herself white, straightening her hair daily and not mentioning race.

Image is everything in this culture and if white people think you’re white that’s what you are. So what else was Bug to do? Testifying to her blackness would be as potty as me declaring my whiteness. As a mixed race person people won’t let me be white or black? Duh!

Love your painting.

best
Isabel.

.

Greetings Isabel,

Thank you for your honest and sincere comment. I understand all of what you say… Coming from a mixed race family in America, I have dealt with the color issue. I’ve straightened my hair, cut it all off and worn it curly….I’ve seen relatives who didn’t speak because they were “passing” and I’ve been told by black people that I wasn’t black enough.

I never quite fit in anywhere.

Along my journey, I discovered that I could not let this ridiculous system of race define who I am. The whole idea of race was created to divide, conquer and subjugate people. I am bigger than black and white and red….I’m an artist, a mother, sister, daughter, quilter, artist, teacher…etc. but my identity as a black person with Native American, German, and African ancestry is a big part of who I am. I can speak so candidly about race because I wasn’t isolated. In America race is a big elephant that sits in the middle of the room that you dress up and offer coffee to every morning. It’s there and in your face. At the end of the day, I could go home and see people who looked just like me and find comfort in that.

I encourage you to continue on your journey of self-expression and discovery. Your work is powerful and moving and I feel that you have so much more to say. Your children will find their way home eventually…

I look forward to reading your work and viewing your art. The artistic process is healing and powerful.

Blessings…
Rochele.

Hmm,

Race,art, identity all come together through image. I think I have learnt this from looking at your paintings. But where the image originates is of course another matter. When we write or express ourselves in the image of what we think the other wants us to be then there is a hollowness and a lack of meaning. And if the other is also doing the same then there is nothing of value to be found.

best Isabel.

Just beautiful

the throat chakra is beautifully narrow…heart to mouth still waiting to connect. much to be said!!!.....eyes not quite seeing YET a bit confused…..hair parted in two…..divided self….small details in her dress…....EVERYTHING IS flowery and ROSEY around her!

i never really broke things down like that but using your comment i thought why not!! i live this way in my head….seeing analyzing every angle opening always seeking wholeness and balance.

your work is honest and expresses clearly your truth in the moment. your skills are ample. what more can one ask for….....besides all those other wonderful parts os you…..mother sister teacher friend artist etc. you know your self….or at least are on the path of desire to. it’s simply called living fully?

BIG aloha, rochelle!

rochelle, you are gestault in your approach without knowing or saying so…..whatever that means. best advice for all of us…esp those who are already doing it, like you….is to step out of our own way. don’t analyze. just act…do the work and when you look back you will know much about your self. sometimes we try sooo hard and botch things up. the need to analyze or to know, a human quality, is sweet, yet it blocks.us from our true innate intuitive knowing. keep doing what you do…..TRUST…..and avoid too much analytical. you remind me of myself. it was fun dissecting this piece for fun but not seriousness….although i know there is truth in the breaking down. truth changes very quickly!!! except for the universal timeless truth.

The emotion written here is art in and of its self. The story is such a powerful one, yet the answers can be simple if we let them be. I have so much to say here…....very good things, but like Isabel I would prefer to think a bit more. For now I just want to say that your work is just lovely. I love to composition and the look of innocents. The colors a perfect. I also love the observations of all who have commented. Beautiful work and beautiful story. This is a piece that will be talked about for a long time to come.

excellent work well done

This is so striking, with these colours and textures. The story is so sad…Great work. :)

Beautifuul work and a lovely story of success, yet a sadness for the loss of the past. I don’t know with your situation if there is a chance to change anything at this late stage but I hope so. God Bless. trisha

Wow. The story … so true and so sad. How could anyone Not want to be who they Are? I understand the time period and the hardships the people faced. I just can’t fathom alienating Self to live a half-truth.

You’ve painted this with Soul. I love it.

Wonderful piece. Very interesting story.

Wow! reading your story and then all the comments – i also love the way stephanie dissected your art – very insightful. All of this has my thoughts spinning, my children that are of mixed heritage (one embraces the differences and the other seems indifferent) and the effect that has on their lives. thank you for opening up this stream of thought and discussion. My one belief is that if we continue to mix blood, color, religion – one day we all be the same and there will be peace.

love your painting Rochele, such a sad story though thankyou for sharing :O)

Excellent work. Sometimes we don’t realize how our early life experiences deeply affect us as we grow and try to find our own way and attempt to answer those unique and difficult questions about who we are.

Lovely quirky image and moving story.

I just wanted to tell you that I really love this piece Rochele, as well as the story behind it, and it reminds me some of my own family history. I am mixed, my mother is white and my father is black, so I have had to deal with different issues over the years because of this, and my great great grandfather on my father’s side was white and he had 10 children by his black slave, my great great grandmother, so with coming from a family heritage where family members have different shades of skin, it’s true that it sometimes does cause situations like you mentioned in the story above, because I have heard of similar stories in my own family history, where those with lighter skin could pass as white and because of that they chose to live their lives seperately from the rest of the family. Thank you for dealing with this subject through your beautiful art, and helping people to learn about it because it’s true and it does happen. :)

fabulous!!
love your work and words

This is very nice work! Sharon