ripinamberlost

Stop pushing
Me around
You always shove
My face in the ground

Whatever I wanted
To make me smile
You destroy it all
And you make me fall..

Here I am
Drowning again
In this sea of …

So Sick
So Alone
Feeling Numb
With no one
To be here
By my side
To understand
What I am
Who This is Inside
Taking over
As my old self
Rotting completely
Swallowed my soul
Devoured …

Dont hurt me
Like that
Dont tell me
How to act

Dont show me
How its done
Because I knoe
What you think is fun

Stop making
Me cry
Stop making
Me try

To do the things
I’d neve…

Yelling so loud
Right in my face
Drowning out my words
Ignoring what I say

Do you even care
What I’m trying to say
Do you even listen
When I try to explain

All your lashing out
Is …

my heart isnt beating
my soul isnt keeping
any track of the things that are happening
its all too much to bear
nothing changing
nothing moving
everything frozen
a weight on my being
wha…

My emotions crush me so far down
So UNCONTROLLED
No matter what I try

You knoe what to say
What to do
To make me feel this way

What you dont understand is;
Once I’m pushed down like …

These voices chase me onto roads I’ve wished to never walk on
They whispher demands I’ve been uncertain for;
Doubt they wont lead to pain

This time I’ve waited here has never felt so worth…

Rebuked coldly in dark stares
From my half-hearted smile with care
Raucous screams from their lungs
Their pedestrian faces horridly hung

Our dissimiliarities are worlds apart
Yet our add…

Peace of Mind is what I need
Settling for less;
A burden indeed

Dreaming never dies
Of every single time
I want to get away
Just get away for a day

My soul explodes with sorrow
Pour…

Crashing all around me
The walls that once stood
Strong and steady
To fall; I knew they would

Dressed to kill
Too tired to see
Weary empty fills
Struggling to be

More is what we see…

Been held up too long
By these old puppet strings
Where I no longer belong
With these unbearable things

Hanging here Wasting away
Just another worthless day
To push all my feelings down…

Staying Strong
Standing Tall
I won’t let you
Make me fall

I can make it through
What you throw my way
It makes me hate you
I want to run away

Away, away
So far away
Some things ne…

Avoided healing
Even through the gashed pain
Spreading all through
Covering every vien

Why must I bear this
Pushed so far down
I’ll still clench my fists
Tough this out with a frown
…

This is a WAR that cant be won
What im fighting for
Will soon be gone

I’m running away
From all my thoughts
They continue through my mind
Till they get lost

My empty hope
I pretend …

Why do you create these walls
To hold me inside
I want to make them fall
You dont even understand why

You lock me away from the world
Expect me to love this
You want me twisted and curl…

I’m a…MESS
Going out of my HEAD

Completely torn in SHREDS
How could I ever FORGET

You threw me AWAY
And you made me SAY
And now im leaving TODAY
And I dont CARE

I DONT CARE

W…

Bleeding from the inside out
Into this world so full of doubt
Raging fear goes for miles and miles
Theres no way to stop it
If there was it’d be worthwhile.
For anything, no matter at all…

My heart it creeps with these horrid voices
Climbing up my throat
Ripping my insides to pieces
Wasting their time, detroying mine.
Those whisphering voices
They run through my mind
Faster…

Throwing away the pieces
Left inside my soul
Burnt and forgotten
Ruthless, never whole
Betrayed by raw thoughts
Useless paper weights.
Holding to nothing
Hope beyond empty
Full of an en…

So today.
I found support.
I found help.
I found what I’ve been looking for.
And I finally feel a little relieved.
A little more confident.
A little more understood.
Cared about.
Yet on…