I was listening to the radio and a new song by a female fronted rock band came on. I like their candy kind of hard rock and she has a great voice but it pissed me off that in almost every song, the singer proclaims what a badass she is. For those on my facebook, yes I was so pissed off it actually made it to my status message. Yes I know, I post too many things and thoughts that really never should leave my head.
I got to thinking that I wanted to put a ribbon in her hair and send her along her way because REAL badasses do not proclaim their badassness. They just are. There is no thought put into it.
There are classic badasses, like any character portrayed by Clint Eastwood. There are classic wannabe badasses, like any member of Motley Crue…But let’s look at female badasses: Yu Shu Lien (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), Joan of Arc, Lara Croft (game version), Boudica, Lizzy Borden (like you’d fuck with her?), Danica Patrick, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Helen Keller, anyone who has ever given birth and of course my mother (she deals with me daily), just to name a few. One does not have to be a fighter or a warrior or a soldier to be a badass.
My favorite personal story of being a badass is when I went into a club and a girl I knew from high school but with whom I was not friends decided, for some unbeknownst reason, to point and laugh at me. I did not say a word. I did not think about it. I walked over quietly, introduced her face to my fist and promptly got removed from the club by a bouncer. I did not talk about it afterwards. I did not write a song about it. I went to Denny’s and got a Grand Slam. The badass moment here is that I ate the entire Grand Slam and did not need Tums or Rolaids afterward.
One of my bands was once doing a gig and a bunch of investors came to see us. After the show, during which I pretended to be penetrated by the microphone and stand, poured Gatorade over my head and various other things I just did without thought, one of the potential investors asked if I could be more feminine on stage. All I said was “No,” and walked away. I never said another word. My bass player and guitarist wanted to kill me but I am who I am and that was not happening.
Much like my husband and I, my BFF and I are very opposite. One Halloween we decided to dress as one another. No explanation was needed and anyone who knew us understood exactly what we did. The badass moment: Overhearing “who’s the Jap and the Hood?”…and this time SHE was the hood.
Now my BFF seems to be very pristine and sophisticated. But she is a total badass. If you think I have no filter, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. We once went to a movie (Aliens 2) and in the movie a guy got torn in half. White stuff started shooting out of him. Well, he was a droid and I found the scene hilarious. Unfortunately, this was back in the day when movie theaters held 500 seats and the theater was full. Yes, I was the only person in the theater laughing uncontrollably. At the end of the movie we decided to take a poll in the parking lot and asked random people if they thought the scene was funny. One guy looked at me and asked, “Is your hair naturally blonde?”…before I could open my mouth and without skipping a beat, she asked him, “Is your dick naturally small?” I love this! We still laugh about it. I think it was a total badass reply.
I think anyone who has raised a boy is a total badass. I’m learning this first hand. I grew up in a family of girls…aunts, great aunts, cousins, kids of cousins, etc…all girls. My son was the first boy and I spent the first five years of his life saying, “Is that normal?”
Is it badass that I have literally physically saved the lives of every person in my immediate family plus a grand father? I tend to think this might be more spiritual or a case of being in the right place at the right time…but if anyone wants to say it’s badass, I’ll accept the title.
I know these are really mostly just some funny examples and that’s all this write is meant to be. Let’s hear about your badass moments and who your badass (female only) heroines are.
Let’s hear about your badass moments and who your badass (female only) heroines are.