Badasses and Random Thoughts

I was listening to the radio and a new song by a female fronted rock band came on. I like their candy kind of hard rock and she has a great voice but it pissed me off that in almost every song, the singer proclaims what a badass she is. For those on my facebook, yes I was so pissed off it actually made it to my status message. Yes I know, I post too many things and thoughts that really never should leave my head.

I got to thinking that I wanted to put a ribbon in her hair and send her along her way because REAL badasses do not proclaim their badassness. They just are. There is no thought put into it.

There are classic badasses, like any character portrayed by Clint Eastwood. There are classic wannabe badasses, like any member of Motley Crue…But let’s look at female badasses: Yu Shu Lien (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), Joan of Arc, Lara Croft (game version), Boudica, Lizzy Borden (like you’d fuck with her?), Danica Patrick, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Helen Keller, anyone who has ever given birth and of course my mother (she deals with me daily), just to name a few. One does not have to be a fighter or a warrior or a soldier to be a badass.

My favorite personal story of being a badass is when I went into a club and a girl I knew from high school but with whom I was not friends decided, for some unbeknownst reason, to point and laugh at me. I did not say a word. I did not think about it. I walked over quietly, introduced her face to my fist and promptly got removed from the club by a bouncer. I did not talk about it afterwards. I did not write a song about it. I went to Denny’s and got a Grand Slam. The badass moment here is that I ate the entire Grand Slam and did not need Tums or Rolaids afterward.

One of my bands was once doing a gig and a bunch of investors came to see us. After the show, during which I pretended to be penetrated by the microphone and stand, poured Gatorade over my head and various other things I just did without thought, one of the potential investors asked if I could be more feminine on stage. All I said was “No,” and walked away. I never said another word. My bass player and guitarist wanted to kill me but I am who I am and that was not happening.

Much like my husband and I, my BFF and I are very opposite. One Halloween we decided to dress as one another. No explanation was needed and anyone who knew us understood exactly what we did. The badass moment: Overhearing “who’s the Jap and the Hood?”…and this time SHE was the hood.

Now my BFF seems to be very pristine and sophisticated. But she is a total badass. If you think I have no filter, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. We once went to a movie (Aliens 2) and in the movie a guy got torn in half. White stuff started shooting out of him. Well, he was a droid and I found the scene hilarious. Unfortunately, this was back in the day when movie theaters held 500 seats and the theater was full. Yes, I was the only person in the theater laughing uncontrollably. At the end of the movie we decided to take a poll in the parking lot and asked random people if they thought the scene was funny. One guy looked at me and asked, “Is your hair naturally blonde?”…before I could open my mouth and without skipping a beat, she asked him, “Is your dick naturally small?” I love this! We still laugh about it. I think it was a total badass reply.

I think anyone who has raised a boy is a total badass. I’m learning this first hand. I grew up in a family of girls…aunts, great aunts, cousins, kids of cousins, etc…all girls. My son was the first boy and I spent the first five years of his life saying, “Is that normal?”

Is it badass that I have literally physically saved the lives of every person in my immediate family plus a grand father? I tend to think this might be more spiritual or a case of being in the right place at the right time…but if anyone wants to say it’s badass, I’ll accept the title.

I know these are really mostly just some funny examples and that’s all this write is meant to be. Let’s hear about your badass moments and who your badass (female only) heroines are.

Badasses and Random Thoughts by 


Let’s hear about your badass moments and who your badass (female only) heroines are.

Creating from both light and dark places, I create the stuff of dreams and the heat of nightmares. Most of my art and writing comes from a life of crazy, frightening and wonderful experiences. I’m also somewhat touched in the head, or so I’m told.

I am a wife, mother, artist, author (novelist, poet, story teller, part time comedic writer) college administrator and former rock goddess.

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Comments

  • Norma-jean Morrison
    Norma-jean Mor...about 3 years ago

    My bad-ass is “The perfect Lady” Glad to see you as i like to keep up, all love my friend Rikki

  • …and that you are. xxoo

    – Rikki Woods

  • autumnwind
    autumnwindabout 3 years ago

    well right now…think you are my favorite badass!!! really, can’t come close to these awesome stories! but how right you are. no need to shout it to the world, just be it, if you are it!!! so entertaining my dear, and so glad to have you back! XOXOXOXXOXOXXOXOXOOX

  • LOL. You’re so sweet. My life’s just one big cast of characters, right? Happy to be back and I’m going to try to stick around more now. Got pulled away for a bit with some other sites and interests, but my heart always is here with my artist and writer friends. xxoo

    – Rikki Woods

  • JRGarland
    JRGarlandabout 3 years ago

    Love the story and agree 100% with ya. My favorite Bonny Badass Heroine was definitely my grandmother. Once, when I was about 12 years old, a bully from the next block over came to our yard and beat on my bother and me. He was a highschool senior jock that could easily taken two skinny Jr. highschoolers with no problem. Well the boy just got finished laying out my little brother and ran towards me. I ran up and dropped kicked him back a ways and as he began to swing at me my grandmother grabbed his hair from behind and began giving him the worst beating of his life. Needless to say that boy never messed with us kids anymore. LOL

  • I love your grandma. Back in the days when we could slap a kid and not get arrested. I can’t do it but I know my parents kicked my ass. Thanks for stopping by John. I always look forward to seeing what you have to say. xxoo

    – Rikki Woods

  • artwin1
    artwin1about 3 years ago

    SWEEEETTTT….. Bad asses are the best, Grand slam indeed

  • Oh you’re so badass and you don’t even know it. You navigated the hotel lobby way better than I did. LOL. xxoo

    – Rikki Woods

  • sandra22
    sandra22about 3 years ago

    Where ya been, you badass girlfriend? :)))
    ….Um, I cannot come up with anything badass to come near yours!
    I must have a badass somewhere (as she scrounges thru her memories:)…I’ll get back to you Rikki :)
    Great to see you
    Sandra x

  • Waves hand wildly in the air at Sandra. Hey woman! So happy to see you. I’m sure there’s something badass in your past…or maybe it’s in your future? LOL. Mwah. Thank you for stopping by. xxoo

    – Rikki Woods

  • sandra22
    sandra22about 3 years ago

    …..oh, actually random thoughts I have…..hmmmm xx

  • Do share. I’m going to do a write one day of my random thoughts. They include things like “why do we smile? It’s just a contraction of the facial muscles,” and “Isn’t a hiccup like a backwards burp?” They might not be medically acurate but they’re my thoughts.

    – Rikki Woods

  • Donna19
    Donna19about 3 years ago

    WILLING TO TAKE LESSONS! SHOW ME THE ANGER…

  • RAWR!!! LOL. Thank you Donna for coming by.

    – Rikki Woods

  • George Yesthal
    George Yesthalabout 3 years ago

    LMAO!!! Fuckin’ aye, Bubbah! Lest we not forget Lorena Bobbitt. Great read and you are SO right.

  • SOOOOOO true. Gotta love that woman! xxoo

    – Rikki Woods

  • MaryMac
    MaryMacabout 3 years ago

    Jacqueline Lee “Jackie” Bouvier Kennedy Onassis one of the great badasses…a lady of style and high profile, able to scoop her husband’s brains in a moving vehicle, in front of millions of people as her husband is assassinated on public television and to this day the people have not been identified . Wearing the pink Chanel suit, with the blood stains of her deceased husband, while Johnson takes the oath of office in her presence, on AirForce 1. Having dignity and style while millions around the world watch her with two toddlers on public television attend her husband’s funeral. To marry a controversial tycoon figure Aristotle Onassis stay married until his death, and still have the style and high profile and dignity of a woman…yes she is one GREAT badass of a Lady. I admire this woman and she did not have to tell anyone she was a badass…she lived it.

    Good writing, rikki…good to read you again
    peace love and happiness always
    andrea xo

  • Yes, yes, yes…I was going to say Jackie Kennedy. Also Eleanor Roosevelt. Thank you for adding this piece of history.

    xxoo

    – Rikki Woods

  • Arcadia Tempest
    Arcadia Tempestabout 3 years ago

    Hey you…good to see you back in the writing saddle again ;O)
    Nope not one badass is coming to mind at this point in time…. some thinking music didn’t help one bit.
    Perhaps I should of been a tad more selective there ;O))
    Ok….I am going now to find better thinking music.
    OHHHHh just thought of someone – Marge Simpson!

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