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Water Retention

Can’t get my rings off once again
Fingers are turning blue
The soap is just not working
Please bring me some shampoo

Lying on my bed with wire hanger
Trying to zip up my jeans
I’m retaining so much water
I could be a mission for Marines

Feet don’t fit in my shoes
Tops overflow and sides dig in
Not liking my new cankles
Yeah, I know, break out the violins

This is the blessed week from hell
I need a diuretic
I don’t mind staying home
To have a much better aesthetic

I am oh so bloated
I’m filled with such despair
At least I’m filled with water
It’s better than hot air

Water Retention

Rikki Woods

Joined October 2009

Artist's Description

For anyone who doesn’t know what a cankle is, it’s when calves meet feet, completely bypassing any shape for an ankle. Ha ha ha.
A tip I learned for removing rings that you can’t get off – Windex / glass cleaner. I was sitting in a jeweler’s office while having my rings cleaned and a woman came in who couldn’t get her ring off. They sprayed her finger with glass cleaner. It has a soap in it that won’t harm jewelry and it is thinner than soap and won’t make your rings tighter. Her ring slid right off.

Artwork Comments

  • Soaps
  • Rikki Woods
  • S .
  • Rikki Woods
  • JRGarland
  • Rikki Woods
  • hollypaino
  • Rikki Woods
  • sandra22
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  • Trenchtownrock
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  • Tracey    lee Stokes
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  • kevinmawson
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  • Solar Zorra
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  • Norma-jean Morrison
  • Rikki Woods

More Work

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