Portfolio

Success?

Irony
Exactly Who is Watching Over Me? by Rikki Woods

Apology to the Woman on the Phone in the Airport …

Your conversation was inane, but you were so determined / To speak with your friend that second, about some recorded sermon
My Girl How I've Missed You by Rikki Woods

Why the Dust Bunnies Wait

Dust bunnies often form / under beds and in corners. / I have neither time nor patience for / tending to such wild beasts!

Badasses and Random Thoughts

One does not have to be a fighter or a warrior or a soldier to be a badass.
Pierced by Rikki Woods Rebirth - Waking the Demon  by Rikki Woods

Infertility Treatments

(Did not mean to make the butcher so completely uptight)
Spartan Soul by Rikki Woods Cherry Bomb (The Runaways) by Rikki Woods Mother Nature's Ire by Rikki Woods Take Me Home Country Road by Rikki Woods

For My Mother on Mother’s Day

Thank you

Death of the Albatross

I close my eyes and beg dreams to come / But these nights, evasive sleep fills the darkness
Dancing Iris by Rikki Woods

How to Fuck Up a Stalker

Back in the days before Internet and caller I.D., I met a man through a personal ad named Paul B. We talked on the phone a number of time…
.....Like a Flame in a Slow Dance by Rikki Woods Redemption by Rikki Woods

Unintelligent Fornicating Female Anatomy

(Mature)
Chrissie Hynde by Rikki Woods You Put the Fire in My Heart (Valentine) by Rikki Woods

Not Quite Corleone

Truthfully, he was quite handsome and definitely resembled Stallone. Who is he you ask?

Sinus Rinse

I love shooting it up one nostril / It’s like getting a message from an apostle
Duet by Rikki Woods Sweet Dreams by Rikki Woods

Dental Floss Obsession

A roll in my car and a roll in my purse / A roll in my desk at work to disperse
Rockefeller Center by Rikki Woods Emerge by Rikki Woods Carnival of Souls by Rikki Woods

Time for the Annual Vacuuming of the Turkey

As you may or may not know, a Domestic Goddess I am not. In fact the domestic gene skipped right over me. That being said, for some reaso…

Mascara

It seems like no matter what I do / My lashes stick straight out when coated with goo

Carla and Coot (for Flash Fiction Challenge #24)

that boy was madder than a mule with a mouth full of bumble bees
Inside the Fire by Rikki Woods This is Goldy by Rikki Woods

Clogged Toilet

It rises and rises in the toilet bowl / With a result that couldn’t be less in your control

Ass Hole

He just stood there yelling “Asshole,” over and over

Somewhere Sometimes

Somewhere Sometimes

A clue

First impressions
Cock Tease by Rikki Woods Cock Tease by Rikki Woods

Incubus

This poem is an attempt to take anger and sleepless nights and challenge myself to create a dark sonnet in iambic pentameter. I really sho…

Bachelorette Party

My TRI-sexual experience!

Butch Was So Much More Than Just a Blow Up Doll (…

As Butch was filled with air, it became obvious that Butch wasn’t just any blow up doll. He was a VERY WELL endowed blow up doll.

Julius’s Ocean View

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment – one with nature.

Feeding Frenzy

Dieting sucks

Public Restroom (Part II)/In Search of Sanitation

I put my hands below the faucet, it’s supposed to detect motion / Of course the water doesn’t start, what would give you that absurd notion?

One Day A Drive But Always a Lifetime

I want you to know, through it all, every argument, every fight, every unkind word or action we ever took toward one another, when it came …

Water Retention

This is the blessed week from hell / I need a diuretic

Cheap Shoes (A Sonnet)

Cheap shoes suck, they hurt my feet / Also make them stink to hell / Might as well wear blocks of concrete / But then they wouldn’t smell /…

50 Things About Rikki

1. What is Your Favorite Hobby? / Playing around on the Internet / . / . / 2. How old were you when you left school? / Since I work at a co…

She Refused to Give In

Bent in pain, she clutched her belly, writhed in agony and assumed the fetal position. The past flashed before her eyes. She knew there w…

It’s New Year’s Eve and Jon Bon Jovi …

My bladder has a mental disorder!
The Fans Go Wild by Rikki Woods

Lullaby for My Little Boy

Tonight I found a moonbeam / Pulled it down from way up high / For when you need some magic / You’ll have a limitless supply

Airplane Farts

Oh the horror!

The Domination

You were much easier prey than expected

Red

Been over mountains / Through restless seas / Survived the heat / Survived the freeze / Learned the meaning / Of bitter cold / Learned the …
Tree of Life by Rikki Woods

I’m Not Mad at You Anymore

Those hallways housed heartbreak / Every corner and window stained by / Widowed ghosts weeping with loss / His face had a line for every on…

Public Restroom (Part I)/Toilet Paper Dilemmas

Where’s the toilet paper police?

Really Bad Sex

And by the way, you won’t be needing that prophylactic

Ode to My 36D’s

I was so embarrassed when / young and you started to grow / And grow and grow and grow and grow / ‘til my bra did overflow / You weren&#…
A Girl and Her Guitar by Rikki Woods

Morning Breath

He rolled over to give me a big juicy morning kiss and asked, “At what point during the night do you eat the shit balls?”

Store Bought Fingernails

Store bought fingernails look so divine / Even later on when you’re only wearing nine / They are sexy and sleek and help with romance…
Heading South by Rikki Woods

For the Love of a Real Man

The love of a man, a real man, / Comes without reason. / It comes without guarantees. / It comes without rules. / It comes without heartbre…
Country Living by Rikki Woods

Domestic Goddess

No one calls me domestic Goddess / No it’s never been said / Can’t cook, clean or water flowers / But damn, I’m good in bed! / Years …
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