When I was a rib-boy, my parents were shot in front of me by a shirtless man. I was absolutely horrified – mostly because his back hair was ungroomed and he has several superfluous nipples, but also for murdering my parents. From that moment, I swore I would devote my life to hunting down and clothing that man, one shirtless person at a time!

Later, as a rib-adolescent, I was also bitten by a radioactive, time-traveling Eli Whitney. Now, whenever I come near cotton, I change. And, by change, I don’t mean transform, I mean I put on a different shirt.

As a rib-teen, I started hanging out with the wrong crowd; Not that they were bad, I just needed glasses, so I had trouble locating the correct crowd. I have many other (monotonous) events that created the Captain RibMan you see/smell today.

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  • Joined: June 2010