Juicy, meaty, tender, and ready to eat!
Humans as a foodstuff have been known by many names since pre-history, but they are most commonly known as “long pig.” Rely on Long Pig brand humans for all of your pork substitute needs. We believe in letting our livestock roam free to allow them adequate air, sedentary fattening, and a nutritious diet filled with corn and naturally occurring preservatives. Our 100% natural Long Pig brand humans are guaranteed plump, raised in a bustling city environment, and compassionately culled once they have reached peak succulence. Labeled for your convenience! Each Long Pig is unique – please check your selection carefully for foreign objects and heavy metal contamination.
And just remember: Long Pig Is People!