Standing in the Pits
A woman grieves alone for her sports legend father.
Standing in the Pits belongs to the following groups:
! 100% !, ! Creative Writing & Poetry !, All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical, Creative, Talented, and Unknown, Freedom In Words & Art, Something To Say, The Art of Pain and Writing: Persuing HappinessThe children were away shreiking summer camp cries of joy
Slumped on ratty cushions she lolled her head towards the darkest corner
A family dog piled lame in a corner, hungry as hell
In the kitchen an empty fridge gurgled and hummed
Dishes lay everywhere forgotten
Dirty pots glued with yesterday’s sustenence on cluttered countertops
Messy floors strewn with everything spilt and thrown
Who cares?
A cockroach raced around the rim of a pan and fell into a dark half-filled cup
Acedia heard him skittering, the splash like thunder
No worries!
Mail and magazine scattered and kicked
Who cares?
Fine slits in window slats let minimal light slice dusty air
Television drones on a far wall like blurry dots on dirty glass
Don’t give a shit!
Acedia Thumos wished for nothing and sighed
Today:
Memorial flowers in a garden she planted with love
Dirty knees and filthy fingers still
(Scraping through memories she had cut herself deeply; nearly bled to death)
Anemic and flaccid
Mute and motionless
Languid pulse and quiet thoughts
Echoes: Roaring mechanical thunder standing in the pits
Bully cat jumps, sending father’s ashes spinning-skidding to a crash on the floor
(And so what, for all Acedia cares)
The dog yowls a lonley moan and covers his ears with heavy-slow paws
So what!
Asshole-racecar-motorhead!
Just me and my miserable thoughts now
No reason to rise today
Couch is comfy
Bedroom far away
(Yawn!)
Tired,,,,,,should sleep
[She dreams of languid circles, blue smoke and pit row]
Daddy crosses checkered flag and winks
Acedia smiles in her little girl dream in the Pits
He climbs out and hugs her, helmet in hand
Strokes her hair
Smiles like a Titan
Smells of sweat and leather and gasoline
Carries her home
Stars twinkle through thin slats
In the Pits
banrai
fine write
Rhinovangogh
Thanks brother. I think Woody Allen named a movie character Anhedonia which basically meant pleasureless. And so with Acedia Thumos (Slothful Spirit), who is depressed at the death of her father the racecar driver. I sought to “Pit” (Pun unintentional) the speed and excitement of the race car event with the still life picture of sadness in the grieving home. I hope I do not over intellectualize. If it saddens, then it is powerful. Cheers, Thanks for reading, Best, J
bluewhite
You have captured grieving depression perfectly. Can’t say beautifully, but perfectly. The dishes, the unkempt house, the comfy couch, bedroom so far away…..
Rhinovangogh replied
Thank you. I think there is beauty in all things. When I read Poe as a child I was awed. He made Huck Finn seem like Pollyanna. I liked both writers nonetheless. Both briliant both touching different parts of the colorwheel. I do not relish in sadness but try to draw a picture of it as I have done before.I do not believe I would call myself an artist if I could not capture both the bright and the dark of human expression. Thanks for the compliment! Cheers, RVG
JRGarland
Wow! This hits home of past years long ago. I remember months of deep depression at different times in my life. You write it out so wonderfully. It really captures the mood well.
Rhinovangogh replied
Thanks JR. I hope you have sunshine from here on out. In many ways, I think we have to take full stewardship of our craft. It sinks if we don’t patch the holes or bail when it leaks, and it wont go anywhere unless we row or set the sails. But you know that…. Thanks mooocho for the comment. Cheers, J
Alison Pearce
Wonderfully done
Rhinovangogh replied
Thanks Alison, sorry I have been outa touch,,,been busy. Thank you so much for your response. It means alot coming from you. Best, Rhino