Biting my thumb, Gnawing my thoughts, Piercing my heart.

Ash rebeltherace
Author: Ash rebeltherace
Word Count: 162
previous browse writing next

Biting my thumb, Gnawing my thoughts, Piercing my heart.

Ive taken to chewing the sides of my thumbs when im anxious or nervous.
So the poems about that,
But obviously more than that.

Biting my thumb, Gnawing my thoughts, Piercing my heart. belongs to the following groups:

All Things Poetic, Artistic, Philosophical

I watch as the blood runs down my hand
Sliding over my skin, dripping onto the floor
The clean white floor
I slide open the drawer on my nightstand
And search inside, searching for a fix
A band aid fix

I peel away the plastic and wrap it around the thumb
Stopping the flow, blocking the pain
The physical pain
To the deep darkness I succumb
Creeping in again, the fear rises
My anxiety rises

He calmly turns to me and begs me not to do it again
Saying that he’s sorry, shouldn’t take it out that way
But it’s the only way
Would he rather my wrists be slain?
I’ll stick to it, until im happy
If I become happy

I don’t know why I get so perturbed
It’s a disease, a horrible feeling
A constant feeling
Perhaps they are right and I truly am disturbed
Living a train wreck, you manage to look away
Why won’t my thoughts go away?

  • Rachael  Hope

    Rachael Hope

    Fuck this is just so beautiful, I could feel its pulse beating you know. You are so talented, and this is so natural and soul bearing! You love are one to watch out for! Straight to the watch list you go!

  • Ash rebeltherace replied

    oh thank you so much!
    i get a bit nervous writing things like it
    because it tends to bring me down when i read back on it
    but i do it so other people can read and hopefully appreciate

    so no regrets thanks to you
    : )

  • JenniferB

    JenniferB

    a very powerful, evocative piece of writing, you have a really mature writing style for someone so young, you may find it interesting to observe how your writing style evolves and grows with you throughout time as experiences alter your perception. Always keep draft copies. You will undoubtedly need them for that published anthology one day! ;-)

  • Ash rebeltherace replied

    thank you for the kind words = ]

  • Luckyvegetable

    Luckyvegetable

    Hey, I know this won’t sound like much, but I know how you feel. Your writing is already so much a part of you, it’s delivered with such honesty, that you can use it as an outlet, a way to get those thoughts out. Purge them. So I’m amazed and impressed. Well done.

  • Ash rebeltherace replied

    thankyou
    it does mean alot
    any scrap of likeness to another person means something to me
    especially someone as creative and intelligent as you appear to be

  • Luckyvegetable

    Luckyvegetable

    You’re more than welcome. And thank you back, for the compliment =) None of us are really alone, while we have the strength to share pieces of ourselves with others. It’s a thought I sometimes cling desperately to, when I’m very lost, but it’s something whose truth I can’t ever deny. Ha, even when I’m really pissed off and hurt. Hang in there.

  • montdragon

    montdragon

    [0^0]

  • Hayley Cafarella

    Hayley Cafarella

    Really engaging and moving. I wish I couldn’t relate so well to chewing my fingers until they bleed!

  • Ash rebeltherace replied

    thanks =]

  • montdragon

    montdragon

    Thumbnail thumb nail nailing the gnaw of what is missing or what should be missing bite biting down….concise not saying what the chewing is all about otherwise a shout and then screaming let me out….the best comment that I can make…bravo may not be correct like I said the best that I could say or said….well said by you.

  • Ash rebeltherace replied

    thanks = ]

  • montdragon

    montdragon

    You are not a poser more said in this than the ones who write trivial angst just to crank the crank.

  • Paul Compton

    Paul Compton

    It’s good to know I’m not alone. Thanks Ash. Great piece of writing.

  • Ash rebeltherace replied

    thankyou

Add your comment

You need to login or signup to add your comment to this work.