Shall I tell you how it feels.
In my head I know it’s wrong
that you’ll be very sorry
You will song that same ol’ song
My bruises disappear
Make-up’s good, I know
But the cuts that are hidden
take longer to go
I can’t believe I fall
for your tears every time
because your tears are nothing,
when you compare them to mine
You always look so helpless
and pathetic standing there
But when you beat me senseless
you didn’t really care
My head hurts so I can’t think
A decision must be made
But now you seem to need me
so I’ll love you.
Scars will fade!
© RebeccaWeston 2009
No More! should be read next as it is the sequel
Featured by Speaking Out ~ 16th August 2010
These poems were written because of past experiences but happily I am free of it now…
Both No More and Bruised & Battered are real but the poem “No More” is exactly as it happened, I stopped him in his tracks by really grinning at him.
I thought, oh well.. he will either finish me off or finally leave.. and thankfully it was the latter!
For years I had felt sorry for him, can you believe it !!!
Now I look back and wonder at my stupidity.
But at the time my children thought the world of him and that made it very hard to end it but more so because he was so sorry and pathetic after. My career was in the care sector too, my job was to help people (those from prison etc) and this just added to my guilt.
Then one morning I woke up and knew it was the day..
I told him very calmly and he seemed to accept it but later that day he started beating me..
He was sat on my chest punching me in the face.
It must have been very disconcerting for him to see me looking up at him with a huge ‘cheshire cat’ grin. (quite hard for me with my face cut and bruised !!) but I had to do it – to laugh at him….To take his power away.