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© 2012 RC deWinter ~ All Rights Reserved

artist’s soul

sitting here watching evening’s curtain fall,
my thoughts turn far inward.
i brood on wornout clichés:
why am i here?
what is my purpose?

there are no answers to these questions that haunt me,
at least none that have been revealed to me.
i ask them again and again, however,
because by all rights i should have been dead,
mangled and bloody, two years ago on the highway.
yet here i am, walking and talking,
but without a clue as to why i’m alive
when the person i loved most is not.

on sunny days, when things are going right,
i know who i am, anyway.
i have settled into the person i was born to be
and am happy, for the most,
with what i see when i examine myself
in the mirror of my heart.
some people don’t get me,
they see a jumble of contradictions,
but i know i’m only mysterious
to those who refuse to see with the heart.
but the artist has a restless soul –
at least this artist does.

i question and i fight the universe,
even when my mind says don’t – don’t do it –
and it’s almost always painful.
but strange moontides tug at me,
pulling me into those deep waters
where unfinished business lurks.

it can’t be helped,
even when the me i know knows better.
it’s a curse and yet a gift,
for when i can tread those waters calmly
i emerge in wisdom,
even when the gaining of it’s cost me dearly.

i am what i am.
i am
who i am.
i am not unknowable
unless you refuse to look beyond
what your mundane senses show you.
look with your heart, if you still have one,
and you will know me.

© 2012 RC deWinter

Digital oils from an oirignal photograph shot on
West 47th Street, New York, May 25, 2012.

Tech specs: Photoshop, Filter Forge 3, a layer of
Sketchy Painting over a layer of VP5 Gothic Oils.



Tags

barbed wire, construction, fence, hole, metal, new york, new york city, pipe, rust, sidewalk, street, urban, wire

Hello, and welcome!
I have been a photographer for over 25 years, using both traditional and digital SLR equipment, with pictures published in print as well as in online publications and galleries. The digitally-composed works are created using a variety of software. If you enjoy my work, please spread the word, and thank you for stopping by.

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Comments

  • sure2010
    sure2010about 2 years ago

    Superb creation

  • Thank you for your extravagantly kind feedback.

    – RC deWinter

  • Madalena Lobao-Tello
    Madalena Lobao...about 2 years ago

    Great work!!!
    I love it!!

  • Many thanks, Mada, as you know, life can be gritty.

    – RC deWinter

  • JRGarland
    JRGarlandabout 2 years ago

    Awesome creation of those magnificent words!!

  • Ah, the painting preceded the words, but so perfectly expressed the sometimes turmoils I had to write it, thank you.

    – RC deWinter

  • Sherri     Nicholas
    Sherri Nic...about 2 years ago

    Hi RC, Your story is incredible I can relate to it so well except for the person that you loved …I am so sorry about that person for you….God Bless you are alive after a tragedy that you went
    thru.I also 2 yrs ago was dying and here I am to…and the words you wrote..hit home the feelings and thougts . your writings are wonderful the way you express yourself and Your avatar is lovely ,…My words are not coming out right..lol so you take care and your pictures her ..OMG..sherri

  • That person was my son, Sherri, he died on my birthday in 2007. I’m glad you’re still walking and talking too! Thank you.

    – RC deWinter

  • Sherri     Nicholas
    Sherri Nic...about 2 years ago

    I am so so sorry to hear that, how do you ever get over loosing a son,..I don’t think so..I feel so bad for you..God Bless you and him in heaven…always RC
    Sherri

  • Thank you for your kindness, Sherry.

    – RC deWinter

  • Alga Washington
    Alga Washingtonabout 2 years ago

    Beautiful work!!

  • So glad you like, thank you.

    – RC deWinter

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