© 2009 RC deWinter ~ All Rights Reserved
Again and Again
The morning’s midnight blue –
thick and suffocating,
velvety but too much so.
I am overmastered by the blueness
and smothered in the folds of disappointment once again.
You’d think by now I’d have learned to court no expectations,
but I keep refilling my flimsy basket with the hopes of foolish girlhood.
Perhaps one of these days I’ll see the bloodred roses in their reality,
wilted, scent long faded, leaves and stems as brown as mud,
instead of clothing them in verdant visions destined to be shattered.
Each wall I hit leaves one more bruise on skin not so resilient,
I’m aging not so gracefully these days, all to my sorrow.
I thought I could sustain that smile I pasted on securely,
determined not to wither even when the wind turned frigid.
But oh! I am a failure,
I can’t do it,
not this morning –
not this midnightstonecold morning could I smile to save my soul.
© 2010 Regina Coeli deWinter
Digital grunge-textured oil painting based on my experiences with love and marriage.