If You Could See My Pain...
I wanted to try and communicate through art what it is like to live with a degenerating spine. I am not doing this for sympathy, but for the people who live as I do and the people that it affects in their world. It is not a pain that can be seen just by looking, as a broken bone is. Some of you know that I suffer from serious back issues. I have 7-8 herniated and/or ruptured discs in my back. To try and SHOW someone what this pain is like is very difficult. Mine has been an approximate 25 year progression. I have had 1 back surgery to relieve pressure off the sciatic nerve from the L5/S1 level. It had become so painful I could not walk without a cane at times. Sometimes the pain would come out of nowhere when I took a step and it was a lightning bolt shooting through me so hard I would fall. I have been in so much pain that I wished for death and if I had been able to walk and find the means I might have taken the out. Thankfully I could not walk = )
My family has been so amazing in their care and concern for me and my grand children keep me motivated and smiling. I thank them all for their understanding… even if they didn’t really, they tried to. I am blessed to be a huge part of my grand daughter’s lives and it is the most precious gift anyone could ask for. It is difficult at times when René needs to be walked because she is teething or not feeling good. I lose feeling in my thighs at times and the pain in my lower back has been so bad I just cried silently until she was asleep and I could finally set her down. It makes my heart sad when Kolleen wants me to jump on the trampoline or run and play as these are things I must not do. However there are so many more positives with them. I get to be there for them in so many ways and when it’s all too much Sam and/or the kids help out until I am feeling better! So I thank God for all the help I am given, as well as still being able to contribute and feel needed. It has been my lifeline in so many ways.



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RavenSoul
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Earthmonster
You gotta add this to EMIThe Group :)
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Mark Hugs
F.A. Moore
Wow, Vonne, I’ve been reading and staring for some time. I cannot imagine this pain; but I see the fire and the lash marks etched into your skin, here. I’m so glad you also show your inspiration, your grandchildren, and your peace dove, and nature, right there to sooth you and be your lifeline. There is hope. And it’s mine that one day soon, you will find everything it takes to get the operations you need to fix your back. You’re one of the most supporting and talented visual artists on RB.
RavenSoul replied
Okay you have me teared up Fran, but smiling too = ) Thank you so much! xxxxxx
Joyce Dickens,...
You are an incredibly strong and blessed individual Vonne…....thank you for sharing; God bless! JD
RavenSoul replied
I am SO not strong. But I have a lot of really good people in my life that hold me up daily = ) Even if they dont know it. Thank you Joyce!
Angel Warda
wow!!!! amazing piece of art!!!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Angel xxxx
Earthmonster
RavenSoul replied
WOW!! Youre Quick! I am truly Honored you think so much of this piece Mark. Thank you xxxxxx
Deborah Parkin
powerful image Vonne – I totally sympathise with you and back pain – back at the osteopath myself tomorrow – this really is great.
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Deb! Best wishes to you as well = ) xxxxx
Victoria Antoine
this piece hits home, as my mother has the same condition. bless you- job well done- congratulations on your feature! :)
RavenSoul replied
Give mom a soft warm hug and my best! Thank you very much Victoria!
doreen01
Too much emotions, incredible mood, just outstanding!
RavenSoul replied
Thanks so much Doreen and for faving it too = ) Hugs!
DevineDayDreams
Agree with all of the above! Very well done! Congratulations on the feature!
RavenSoul replied
Thank so hon!
pepper08
Wonderful piece and as you I suffer with the same pain but not to your degree…I feel for you because i know how sometimes just moving can distrupt your entire being…Again Vonne wonderful piece
pepper08
Also Congrats on your feature…
RavenSoul replied
Thank you hon. I hope to hold out until they find a way to fix it without breaking the rest sigh… A little bird told me about titanium disc replacements. Worth checking out I know I am looking into it. xxxx
Songmistress
WOW, Vonne. I had no idea. ((((HUGS…gently)))) I know what it is to live with pain, and how difficult it can be to find the motivation to go on and what it means to have people surround you with love and make life worth living. Your art is such an inspiration to so many people – as you, yourself, are a great inspiration. God bless you, you dear woman!
RavenSoul replied
I am so in awe of the human spirit and so very grateful to know that this piece has already began to be felt by people who needed to see it. Thank you very much for your sweet comment beautiful girl! xxxx
Scott d'Almeida
fabulous work
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Scott
billyboy
Vonne, I knew you had some issues but wasn`t aware of the megnitude.
I think it`s an amazing thing you did in posting this as it`s often as hard to expose your pain as is to keep it to yourself. There`s lots of healing power in all the souls who will feel deeply for you, like myself, and wish you well.
I`ve been suffering with sciatic pain for years… fortunately the last few have been good, but mine is also a degenerative problem so it`s sort of like a ticking time bomb.
I think it`s beautiful that you have so much love around you to help you come to terms as best you can… and that you saw fit to share with us.
Massive hugs to you… but careful ones!!!
xo
billyboy
... and yeah, amazing image!!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Billy! Massive soft hugs back my dear sweet friend!
micklyn
wow, very powerful work and such a moving description. well done.
RavenSoul replied
Thank you dear lady! xxxx
Wayne Cook
My friend, you are admired by many, On behalf of myself and anyone who may echo my humble thoughts…..
One Heroine, One Artist, One Monument
Storm radiates from your body,
Like lightning with in, searing your nerves,
Never leaving you alone,
Day by day, each thorn you wear,
A robe of pain, you are forced to bear,
Though it is hard to tell, such art you share,
From time past to now,
From now to when,
And you create and build and post again,
What mind sould live,
What soul sustain,
What heart detail,
Your hands proclaim.
What untold story,
You picture and make,
And the time you have given,
Each day is laid,
And more and more you bring this way.
The thoughts to pictures, and soul to play
What force within such a spirit leaps,
That you hug your wee bairnes,
To your breasts in sleep,
And then, while you are bent and weep,
You may struggle to your desk,
Still, you create….
What triumph we see,
What glory you cast,
The power you carry,
How you set the mark,
We can only stand in our places,
And admire your heart.
One Heroine, One Artist, One Monument.
Our friend.
RavenSoul replied
Wayne I am crying again WOW You are so amazing! I am not sure how to respond, not sure I can right now. Thank you so much Wayne your kindness and tender heart are as big as the world! xxxx
Mindy McGregor
Beautiful work!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Mindy!
AmandaH
Stunning piece of work … :o)
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Amanda = )
Karen Tillotson
Outstanding work Vonne…it’s very difficult to convey physical pain with imagery but this is truly a remarkable piece…so extremely well done. I can relate to your suffering my friend…you are truly blessed to have such wonderful support in your life.Take good care…Blessings to you xo
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Karen I am very blessed and very thankful to each and every person in my life. Best wishes and blessings to you Karen! xxxx
LeilaniMelayna
May God always be with you through all that you endure, my dear friend, RavenSoul! Cheers to you, my friend, for allowing all of us to share this tremendous burden. I will continue to pray for your pain to be as little as possible. I would hug you if I was able to. Keep your chin up…we’re with you through all of this. Please take care, my friend! Cheers to you!
Smiles Leilani
RavenSoul replied
Thank you sweet girl I am grateful for the prayers Hugs to you xxxx Vonne
RavenSoul
I must leave for awhile as I am so overwhelmed by emotion right now. Thank you all for seeing what I tried to convey. Its my deepest wish that it brings some healing to those who are in need, and some comfort to those who feel alone. Thank you my friends! xxxxx
Catherine Veal
its giving out a powerful message Vonne.x
RavenSoul replied
Thank you so much Catherine!
Gregory John O...
I can empathise with you. I had C3/4 C4/5 fused two years ago, after putting the operation off a few times. Pain is a constant friend, but it is better than no movement !
Great piece of art !!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Gregory Glad it is better for you, at least somewhat = )
Ric Alexander
My utmost respect to you. My wife, although not at that stage, has suffered with rhumatoid arthritus since the age of 7 and has pain daily. Since having my daughter, mother nature has allowed her to come off most of her drugs, including the gold injections, but the damage is done. it is a waiting game to see if it will return, or just cause her to be immobile one day.
You are a special person. I wish i could meet you for a chat. I really do. Take care Cariad, and keep up your good work on this site ! Although i do not comment on it all, it is some of the best editing ive seen here.
Ric xxxxxxxx
RavenSoul replied
Wow Your poor wife my heart goes out to her. I pray she continues to beat it!! Id love to chat with you too = ) and thank you for the compliment. I love your editing style too = ) Hugs to you and the Mrs xxxx
RebeccaT
My husband suffers from this as well and I’ve seen it at it’s worst. – It’s hard to watch someone go through that pain… and not be able to help. Amazing work Vonne… truly :).
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Rebecca. I am sorry your hubby has to endure this. he is lucky to have you = ) I know it is as hard on the people who love you to watch, which is why I was so candid in my description. It becomes such a weight on you, the feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and the fear of being a burden to all you love and once took care of. Mentally it beats you down to the point you wonder why you are here. Its such a horrible thing < chronic pain> you begin to feel desperate because unlike a broken bone you KNOW its not going to get better = ( Keep after him Girl! Make sure he knows he is Needed. Put on funny movies keep him laughing as much as possible. The hormones released help! Bless you both!
Lynn Moore
This will minister to so many people…whether their pain is exactly like yours or not. Our conversations have helped me to better grasp what my dad went through…this adds to my attempts at understanding it though I know I never will fully, not having experienced it as you, he and others have. Powerful piece!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Lynn. It is because of our talks I decided to attempt this. Perhaps if we all understand what each other is going through maybe we can bring understanding to it, or at least a small bit of peace to ourselves. Big Hugs xxxx
RajeevKashyap
Fabulous Work
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Rajeev
jewelskings
Fantastic piece! I too have some sciatic nerve pain not as bad pain. Trouble getting comfortable at bed time some times. I do work because I have too! Only 3 days a week 4hrs at a time outside the house then I have a part time job I do at home and my art that keeps me sane! So you keep on trucking! You go girl! Your art is fabulous and your a fantastic host! And peace be with you!
RavenSoul replied
Ahh Thank you so much! Sounds like you have things down girl! 4 hours at a time thank God you are able to do that! U Keep trucking too! Hugs Vonne
Kevyn Paul Eis...
Well done, Vonne!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Kevyn!
Janis Zroback
Incrediblly moving image…I live with chronic pain too…it’s like your very soul is being ripped out…thanks so much…I am inarticulate as I view this image…
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Janis… I wish it didnt have to be like this = ( Perhaps someday in the near future there will be more done medically to help people with chronic pain. I know they have made Huge leaps in the past 10-15 years so hang in there hon and I will too = )
BAD-HARVEST
can not believe the pain you go through…i suffer with .Osteoarthritis ..and i somedays i can’t move…this is probably the heart rending image i have seen ...
xxx
RavenSoul replied
I understand Karen = ( Thank you sweet lady for your words! Be praying for you xxxx
Angel Gold
Wow Vonne!!! Great image. i think you depicted the pain really well. Sorry that you have to go through all that pain though. :>))xx
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Angel glad I was able to convey it through art xxxx
annacuypers
Hi Vonne, this is almost shocking for me, telepathic. I have the same problem and tryed before also to work the pain away through my art…Or try to make people understand what it means… I do so understand what you mean and it feels good in a way that you are suffering the same and make also artwork in the same atmosphere… It is not written on your face ah.. My spine is also degenarating. It started five years ago. I could’nt walk anymore and my right arm was also not working anymore. I had a backoperation and a neckoperation. I’m still suffering a lot of pain every day. And it is so true that people don’t understand what it is like to live with this pain every day. I had to give up my work and in the wintertime another serious operation is waiting. The protheses and donorbone in my neck are not working so they have to take them out again and put another… I can not explain it in english very well… It is a support for me that you wrote this and made this strong image with it. I wish you a lot of strenght sister in pain and art. hugs, anna
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Anna I bubble mailed you as reading this just made my heart hurt for you =- ( You are in my thoughts and prayers Anna xxxx
Paul Vanzella
wow – impressed with this piece, how personal and deep you have delved…. and the amount of work involved to bring it to life… always admire you vonne!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Paul You have been such a supportive and dear close friend to me. Hugs and thank you for keeping my spirits high and keeping me enthusiastic about my art, just by being you xox
Mel Brackstone
Beautiful image of a terrible disease. Pain certainly brings us together…..careful hugs to you too!!!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you so much Mel = ) Soft hugs to you my friend xox
Karen Cougan
Wow Vonne this certainly hit some nerves, yours and others.
Sorry to hear you go through this. You have sure shown us by your pic what you go through…........well done
also Congrats to Wayne for his fantastic writting about you….....all deserved
big hug babe
xkc
RavenSoul replied
Thank you so much my friend and yes that will be treasured always. What a beautiful Poem he wrote, WOW! So completely overwhelmed by it xxxx
RosaCobos
We really…. do not know..Vonne.
Nothing could drive me to this new…
though I had always suspected a sort of pain…untold. A silence dense…a graveness and a real of darkness…that I have many times commented.
Now I see, and feel sorry. Cannot imagine what this pain is…not at all. I venture to say that feel hapy for you having grandchildren…and all.. Thought you were really a youth…and youth you are..amazing how stupid is the way we count the years, as if these woul have any consecuence..
I pray…though I am not a beleiver…but I pray for your wellness….and say that your portrait is wonderfully expressing the really, multidimensioned of your sufferings. Thanks for telling us, for I really love to “know”.
Love for you, Vonne.
Rosa
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Rosa for your comforting words and wishes. You have always commented so much from your heart and that has always ment the world to me. Hugs to you sweet friend xxxx
Lois Bryan
My darling, beautiful girl … you’ve opened your sweet, gentle, wise heart to us once again … and we see deeply into your soul. Your extraordinary images always tell a story … and now we know better the whole story they tell. Beautiful girl … you’re in my prayers that there can be help for you … some wonderful new science with your name on it … and your years of suffering will cease and the fun stuff … the pain-free fun stuff … can begin!!!!!! All my most heartfelt love … your devoted pupil … Lois
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Lois you always make me smile = ) Hugs sweetness xxxx
CLiPiCs
Vonne all I can say is I love you for the madly insane and caring (do they go together ?) person you are, all the fun and laughter, the drinking, and the teasing with rib eyes !
I have no deity to pray to but you know that I think of you, and you know how much you mean to me as a person and artist X X
NB I nearly forgot the astounding work you have done on this image, amazing
Love ‘N’ Laughter Kriss ♥
RavenSoul
Thank you so much Kriss! Love you my friend! xxxx
thepaintedsoul
Hey Vonne. . .I grieve for you because I’ve got other friends who deal with similar challenges. It’s a tough one! You’ve conveyed the OUCH! big time. Powerful image. TPS
RavenSoul replied
Thanks so much hon!
midzing
powerful work Vonne,,,,I have severe oestoarthritis in my knee joints,,,, and although I cant imagine what spinal pain is like, I can empathise with what you have to go through on a day to day basis,,, powerful and stunning work,,,,
RavenSoul replied
Thank you! Sorry for the pain you deal with too hon = ( That has gotta be very hard to deal with Thank you for commenting. Thank God we have our creative outlet hugs xxxx
raymondoantonio
I CONCUR WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE COMMENTS!!! X
RavenSoul replied
Thanks so much!
Nascha
Vonne, I am so touched by your story and your art. Living in pain must be so hard and my heart and prayers are with you. Much love to you beautiful one. xxx
RavenSoul replied
Jane thank you for the kindness hugs
Rachel Davison
Vonne I hope for a miracle and wish you so much love and healing!!!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you very much Rachel. Got the Love the healing well we shall see = )
Trish Woodford
A very powerful piece, you have really translated your pain thru your art here. Your folio is full of such creative pieces, it must be a great release or channeling for you. Thanks for sharing Vonne :)
RavenSoul replied
Yes It truly is but I really didnt do this for me but for others so they might understand
DragonFlyer
I think if any of us could truly feel your pain we would all be much the wiser for it – and much more capable of empathy for our fellow human beings. Thank you for attempting to give us these gifts Vonne – a terribly sad and painful, yet beautiful image
K xx
RavenSoul replied
K you have such a beautiful soul and perhaps youre right? perhaps that is why I empathize and sympathize as much as I do… I have never thought of it like that. Hugs to you sweetness
deepbluwater
Vonne, you have captured so very much in this image and with these words…
about pain, about your experiences, and about what makes life worth living in spite of challenges. Sending you a big hug with wishes for healing and much gratitude for being you and expressing yourself so beautifully through your art…
RavenSoul replied
Thank you sweet friend xox
Tracey Mac
Sending you loads of white light Vonne and the way you have created this is superb. I hope by sharing this it gives you so much strength to deal with this debilitating pain….....and that all the soft hugs (including mine) lessons it just enough to make you smile and feel the love….....
Mwah sweet girl
xoxox
RavenSoul replied
Overwhelmed by all the support but so grateful. I am good it is what it is = ) I have more good days than bad so life is good! xox my friend
raymondo
Sending a healing prayer.. knowing how you feel..!!! great words, great art…
love and tender hugs…xx
RavenSoul replied
thanks Ray xox Love u too
Keith Reesor
Vonne, My girlfriend has this. She had “corrective surgery” and has metal rods and screws in her back. It stopped further deterioration, but she still lives with pain n a daily basis!! Incredible and powerful image!! :)
RavenSoul replied
My deepest sympathies to her Keith That is why i have not done one that major I fear it will on ly make it worse = ( Give her a big soft hug for me xxxxx
Lumase
Oh, powerful!
RavenSoul replied
Yes Pain is that, but I try real hard to be more powerful for the most part I am winning. I have become an expert at blocking most of the pain and continuing to do the things I want. Cant always but damned if i wont keep trying until the day comes i cannot anymore.
AsylumWitch
This is amazing Vonne! What a sincere and beautiful image you created. I love it.
So sorry to hear of your back pain hon. My back is always going ‘out’ to the point I can’t walk upright but nothing like yours. Good lord, I can’t even imagine your pain.
Big ((hugs))
RavenSoul replied
Mine started that way, take care of yourself! xxxx V
biddumy
Being creative is very theraputic and a loving family numbs pain. Superb image!!!
RavenSoul replied
Thank you and yes all help tremendously!
Earthmonster
RavenSoul replied
Oh WOW!!! Thank you so MUCH!!!
F.A. Moore
Vonne, I returned because I saw you in my featured list (All in, Editing, I guess), and wanted to say “Congratulations!!”. And look at all of these comments since you first posted. Wow. Can you say SUPPORT! :)) Wayne’s poem—oh so special. You opening up has provided the opportunity for so many others to do the same, right here, in this space. Beautiful, Vonne.
RavenSoul replied
Thank you Fran and yes I have a very loving family both at home and on RB I am very blessed and I hope the image helps others a small bit in dealing with their own pain. Hugs to you!!
Anne McGinn
All my very best to you, dear Vonne – chronic pain can rob one of so much – but it has not robbed you of your beautiful spirit and your equally gifted artwork. Thank you for opening up to us. We have now grown deeper because of you. xoxoxo
RavenSoul replied
Aww Thank you Anne That means so much to me! xox
Sharon Mau
RavenSoul replied
Thank you so Much!! Such an honor!
Beachy
This is a very powerful and beautiful image. It makes you stop and take a long thoughtful look.
RavenSoul replied
Thank you hon
jillijude1
stunning image, makes one think… hugs xxx
RavenSoul replied
Thank you!
Sean Farragher
beautiful work
Lynn Moore
artyfifi
Fabulous image! A testament of your wonderful inner strength, untainted despite such adversity.
RavenSoul replied
Thanks so much!
Laurie Search
This is truly an incredible piece of work. Really moving and beautiful.
Laurie Search
I also wanted to say that I am so sorry for your pain… I had 3 herniated discs in my neck….had surgery and now have only one…..and I have awful back problems and leg pain as well…but I can’t even begin to imagine what 7 or 8 herniated discs must feel like.!!!!!....I am sending out a big virtual hug to you!!! And I’m so happy you have such a wonderful man to help take care of you!!! You hang in there and take good care of yourself!!!
RavenSoul replied
Hugs to you Laurie! Im very blessed and I know it = )
Heather Rivet...
:hug; for you and well said and well shown..i cant imagine how that feels
RavenSoul replied
Thanks Heather and I for one am so very glad you cannot imagine = ) Take good care of your body it has to last awhile = ) xxxx
Sheila Laurens
Congratulations on your well deserved feature in All In Editing X
Sheila
RavenSoul replied
Thanks so very Much!!!
Kendra Taber
Great image..sorry you have to endure such agony..All the best to you..take care
RavenSoul replied
Thanks hon Im good most days = )
Beve Brown-Clark
I have always believed we are not given more than we can carry…you carry yours with Grace and Dignity…full of life…superb rendition of your painful outer shell…your light always shines…you are an inspiration to us all!! You shine where you are planted…congrats on your features! gentle hugz Beve
RavenSoul replied
Thanks sweet Beve! xxxxx
frogster
Wonderful work
RavenSoul replied
Thank you!
Shoaib .
this is very amazing.. i see so much depth in meanings in ur work which is always so great to see
RavenSoul replied
Thank you! Always great to hear from you = )
Therese Smith
My heart and prayers are for you today. I too suffer from the same thing I know what your saying. You are lucky to have those who love you around you. Your image is awesome. I feel the pain as I see your back as scared in pain, however I see a tree too and trees are hope and you never give up on hope and faith and trust in your love . Excellent . Your body might be weak but your mind is strong in you art and writing.
RavenSoul replied
Thank you so much for the kind words hugs
mcyoung
Raven….oh, you’ve done well illustrating what it’s like, I certainly understand…and thank you for sharing this…very touching…mc
RavenSoul replied
Thanks for the kind words!
Helen Chierego
Such a deep and powerful image and words. I can relate…
May the healing force be with you! xox
cosimopiro
In a blink so much is missed,
in a heartbeat so much is lived,
and in a heavy sigh so much is said.
Thankyou
DravenStudios
I have degenerating discs in my back and neck, arthritis and cervical dystonia from a car accident so this image touches me deeply. It is beautiful and powerful!
F.A. Moore
Inside Solo, vol 15! <<Click to go!
Congratulations! on your feature in the magazine.
Inside Solo is the Art News and Resource magazine from Solo Exhibition.
The magazine is now a formal publication, in PDF format, downloadable from its RB page. Please take the link back to comment at the end of the issue. A reprint of just your feature article is available from a link on the inside back cover of the magazine, for your portfolio.
F.A. Moore
Featured in Your Solo Exhibition <<Click to go!
Vonne, Congratulations on this work, which is featured in your Solo Exhibition,
Monday – Sunday, October 26 – November 1, 2009!
Vonne’s Reception Gallery <<Click to go!
Danica Radman ...
so introspective – pure art!!