If only I could productively procrastinate. I dream of putting down a duster, Mr Sheen, vacuum or mop, mainly because they are so rarely picked up.
Gazing out of the windows highlights how desperately they need cleaning. I suppose I could do that, but waddabout the floor, the washing, the dusting, the list is endless. So many choices, so little time.
Oh yeh, better check the weather channel again. Austar’s weather channel slogan is announced imperiously, with authority, a deep male baritone ‘The Weather Channel – Live by It’.
Sadly my chronic inability to make a decision, about anything at all, means my personal version of the slogan is ‘The Weather Channel – Live for It’.
I mean it would be different if the Weather Channel just got their act together. But no, don’t be ridiculous. They keep changing the long range forecast. It’s gonna rain next Saturday, ten minutes later, it’s a different story. Nadda, nothing, no rain, not even a cloud for the next week.
There is a cool change coming. But when? I got that one sussed. Every postcode from Port Augusta east to the West Australian border is programmed into my telly. That way I can see the temperature drop as the change approaches. Good thinking hey!!
For fun and entertainment I check my sister, Miss Maude’s, postcode. She lives in a wonderful seaside town, home of the amazing Makyvi Diva, so you can imagine the entire town is just as flash as Michael Jackson. It never used to get real hot there so she has no air-conditioner, just a nice collection of ugg boots and snuggly jumpers.
Partially responsible for laughs at Miss Maude’s expense would have to be Global Warming. They reckon Global Warming is all bad? Not so.
Combine Global Warming, the weather channel and my superb programming abilities, I can now get a real belly laugh out of the fact she is melting like a chocolate Easter rabbit in the oven, at 41 degrees Celsius.
Not many people know about my living for the Weather Channel. Not even my psychiatrist, psychologist or doctor. Maybe I should tell them. Or maybe not?
Consideration of anything else at all, outside the Weather Channel, leads to procrastination. Am I not entitled to inner peace, does the Weather Channel not take away the worries, the choices, the endless round of decisions?
Once it cools down things will get better. I will leap of the sofa, toss the remote aside, clean the house, do the washing, load up the trailer, write a book, unpack my Mosaics, set up a studio, create a Masterpiece, go to university, volunteer at the school, find other things to laugh at, the list is endless.
According to the long-range forecast my life should all start to happen next Wednesday.
What am I going to wear?