Fantastic Voyage

“THOSE THAT ENTER – MAY NOT RETURN”I paid no attention to the sign outside the door and bravely entered. Just stuff to keep the riff-raff out I kept telling myself but some dreams are even spooky for dreams. This “Fantastic Voyage” of getting inside my girlfriend’s head was maybe, probably, definitely not a good idea.As brains go hers looked about like what I was expecting, that is until I entered the “Don’t Even Think It” door. She’s always said I never listened very well. I suspected there would be nothing simple beyond this door, unlike my own brain whose signs were pretty much self-explanatory. Signs like “Eat”, “Sleep”, “Drink” and “Sex” pretty much covered all the basics. Although I did have one sign that perplexed me that being the sign, “Cork”. Hey, I just write what I see. Maybe it’s some genetic Irish room that decided if they kept a little cork in their heads they’d always stay above water. Just a theory lads.An elaborate maze soon became apparent as I swayed against her cerebrum walls. Large mossy rocks were everywhere and beautiful thin naked women rested seductively upon them. Each sipping only the finest of wine and purring like cats as I passed.There was a Jacuzzi in one room, and a hunky massage therapist in another. I even came upon a small pond that had a fishing pole along the bank. I picked up the pole and looked for some bait without any luck. As I was searching through the grass a worm fell from a crack in the cranium. Quickly, flying out of sight, I saw the tail end of the most hideous flying creature I had ever seen. I picked up the shriveled worm which felt incredibly warm. The worm began to stiffen and raise right there in my hand much like a loaf of bread.In my excited state I tossed the “worm loaf” as far as I could into the pond. Once again I failed to notice the sign. This time it was, “NO FISHING ALLOWED”. Damn. Too late, my bait was already in. She’s always said I was a little premature at times.What I saw next I’d rather not say. Something’s you wouldn’t believe me even if I told you. I dropped the pole and ran as fast as I could from this no-mans hellhole. I followed my instincts and finally found the entrance. Just a few more brain cells to pass and I’ll be free! But before one could say “nightmare” the large mossy rocks, which now were looking more and more like size Z bosoms, began moving towards the door.No! No! No! I must make it out of here before these rocks, BOOBS, seal my fate. By now the naked women were on their feet clapping and shouting. None of which was making sense, none of this was making sense.It was then that I awoke in my own bed covered in a cold sweat. I had no memory of how I got there but the memory of the night before stayed with me forever. I never went fishing from that day on and I’ll never, and I mean NEVER, get inside a woman’s brain again.

- T.G. Friel

Fantastic Voyage


Joined October 2008

  • Artist

Artist's Description

Short story

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