A COLD CHILL

A chill creeps down my neck
as i look for what i never accept
love to be exact
as a matter of fact
it claims to know me well
in this misery where i dwell
is it selfishness, stubbornness
or am i just useless
when it comes to loving someone
they throw subtle hints
some seem heaven sent
yet!!! i need something to grasp my soul
a special feeling to take control
that powerful black magic
that captures my very essence of sensuality
to release all the seductive juices
flowing inside my veins
if only there was such a vision
if only my heart could pitter patter
to a different beat that didn’t matter
as much as the love they see in me
the type of love given so free
my aching hearts begs to feel the warmth
the touch of a queen
while a chill still creeps down my neck
am i as cold as this autumn breeze
no!! that’s what i just cannot believe
why is this like a torture so cruel
is love confined by senseless rules
love why has thou forsaken me
have you become my enemy
crushing the very life from me
am i pushing you away
am i lost in my own masquerade
where i’m the clown
and endless tears fall down
from the lonliness
from the emptiness
from the guiltiness
of being me
a cold chill creeps down my neck

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Tags:

denial, hate, love and trust