I’ve never really been too personal on any website, so if I’m going to start opening up it might as well be somewhere I feel comfortable sharing little pieces of myself.
My last upload was a little over a month ago, and if you’ve followed me for a while you’ll understand why that’s such an issue for me. I used to create new images and come up with new ideas on a very regular basis and to have that progress slow down so tremendously is extremely disheartening.
I think I’d be okay with taking such large breaks in between my images if the result of that hiatus was something that I felt proud of, but that has yet to happen. In fact I haven’t been happy with any of my work in a very long time.
I’m often told that ideas come with time, but as time passes my confidence with what I make deteriorates even more. When I finally get an idea I feel I’d like to present, the end result is so far from what I envisioned that out of disappointment and sadness I scrap it, or I pile it in a heap of incomplete files on my computer that depresses me to even look at.
I think I should just stop. Stop worrying about stringing little ideas together and the resentment I feel towards myself when nothing comes out of it, and stop wasting mine and other people’s time presenting work that I’m just not happy with.
I hope I can get past this but I honestly don’t see how.
Thank you for your patience, thank you for your support, and thank you for taking the time if you did to read through this post.