Pie Woe

Yesterday, I rang a phone number in Manchester.

“Hello, Breville”, said the girl in the press office.

“Is that the same Breville that makes useful kitchen appliances?” I asked.

“The very same.”

“Where can I get a Breville Pie Magic, then?”

“You can’t.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You can’t. We stopped making them several years ago.”

“…”

“I’m sorry. There just wasn’t the market.”

“…”

“Sorry.”

“…”

I found a couple on Ebay, but who in their right mind would buy a second-hand pie machine? It’s had other people’s pie in it and would be like using someone else’s underpants as a tea strainer.

So, after discovering that the Breville Pie Magic – the handiest pie-making kitchen gadget ever devised – is no more (except, it turns out, in Australia, explaining a thing or two about Shane Warne and his more than ample girth) – I expressed my outrage at its untimely death to anybody who would listen to me, and quite a few who wouldn’t.

For those of you arriving late in the day, the Pie Magic was a rather clever adaptation of the traditional sandwich toaster that allowed the user to combine the pastry and filling of their choice for pie-making purposes. After a mere eight minutes, it would turn out a piping hot pie, ready to be devoured. With a capacity of two pies, the clever chef could make both dinner AND pudding pies at the same time, thus producing a whole meal in less than ten minutes (plus the three hour preparation time, which we’ll gloss over).

Breville, unfortunately, lost faith in the contraption, sparking minor outrage several years later when I quite fancied a home-made pie made in a turbo-charged sandwich toaster….

“So, what are you going to do about it? Start a petition?”

Yes. Yes. I think I will.

Pie Woe

pongo

Cambridge, United Kingdom

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