If there’s one thing that no man should ever do, it is to engage in sexual congress whilst wearing socks.
It is, quite simply, wrong – the kind of behavior you’d expect from senior members of the Conservative party, or people having sex with senior members of the Conservative Party. If they have sex at all.
A true man will even feel a pang of shame cracking one out on his own whilst wearing socks, and will almost certainly think of Ann Noreen Widdecombe at the vital moment. This would result in a reprehensible waste of spoodge that could easily have been imagined elsewhere.
A sockless Nigella Lawson, for example.
Socks and sex = no.
Socks and sandals and sex = NO
Come to think of it, there are loads of things that no man should ever do. Most of these happen to involve socks and members of the Conservative Party in some way or another and should be avoided if you value your sanity.