Sleep Deprivation

Sleep Deprivation

There’s nothing like grocery shopping with bags under your eyes. It saves paper and plastic. Speling getz awl messie. Banging into things that you know are there is imperative. This is especially true of those things that hang and are within immediate head range. Falling asleep on the toilet can be awfully hard on the bum. Be careful when you get up, because your feet are sleeping too. Spraining ankles really isn’t that much fun, but I have heard that Ace Bandages are the up and coming fashion buzz.

Photographs that you CLICK in your sleep are usually out of focus, just like you, and have no subject matter, except for maybe a rumpled pillow or bedspread. Well, that’s if the flash goes off. It really is better to dream of a good photo that has crisp, clean lines, great composition and fantastic subject matter. If it’s the kind of picture that you want to dive into, better yet. Driving is a total no-no, since double yellow lines seem to somehow become transparent. Gargling with the open bottle of hair spray that you forgot to refill is very toxic and will create a new ozone hole in your head. Matchsticks can prop your eyes open, but whatever you do, don’t fall head first into the lit candle on the table in front of you when you nod off. It’s always nice when others say that you are radiant, but not while they are dumping a bucket of water over your head to put your head fire out.

I’ve done a few of these things, but THANKFULLY not all of them. The other night I had one heck of a good giggle going due to being overtired. Sitting outside with lit candles and a Tiki torch, I pray while gazing into starlit nights on a fairly regular basis. The still of the night, beseeched with sounds of night creatures stirring is very meditative and spiritual for me. I keep a small flashlight handy and click it on if something rustles towards me. That way I can run like a bat out of hell if it’s a big ol’ bear.

On a normal night, when I am not tired, I put the lid on my Tiki torch, with my flashlight in hand and carefully put the wooden cap on to douse the flame. Oops…this particular night I accidentally tried to put the wood lid on upside down. Of course I didn’t have my trusty flashlight on. Realizing my mistake, I quickly removed it and put it on the right way. Yup, uh huh…that’s right.

After blowing out my candles, I went inside and shut the door. Now, I never turn the patio light on when I am outside. It takes away the ambience. The house was dark on the inside, but I noticed that it was very bright outside. Checking the patio light and wondering why it was on, I quickly realized that it was off. Hmm… Back outside I went.

Holy cow, my Tiki top was burning up, shooting a huge flame up into the darkness of the night. Well, what does a Photographer do? Heck, you don’t put the fire out, instead you photograph it, while praying that it is not going to fall down and catch all the dried up pine needles laying all over the ground beneath the torch. CLICK!

Eyes, half closed, as my bed was screaming loudly for me to flop down on it, I went and put leather gloves on and got a monkey wrench. Amazingly, I didn’t trip over anything or crash into the screen door. Very carefully, I removed the lid and doused it with my watering can, which luckily I keep full in the shed. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

The moral of this story is:

Honor yourself every second, every moment and every hour of the day.
Sleep when you need rest or sleep deprivation will blow your mind away.
Take extra good care of yourself; you’re the only you that you’ve got.
Being a superhero by helping others requires a whole heck of a lot.

Oh, and here’s a dog’s version of sleep deprivation:

Sleep Walking Dog

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