Not Gonna Play Myself/Lonely I am

I am not gonna get played anymore
That’s right I made the decision to not get played anymore
Cuz see I realized that it’s not them that play me
I play myself
By thinking less of myself and accepting
Their baggage and bullshit
So still I sit
At home afraid of being alone
So I lower my standards and invite you over
Knowing all the while that this could never work
But I hate to give up on my hopes
But it’s becoming more and more apparent with every 1 of your lame ass jokes
And if you touch me again I think I’m gonna scream
Why can’t you stay on your side of the couch leave me alone please
Wait, I don’t mean that…come back….don’t leave me alone…I hate being alone
so I bite my tongue…and I fight the urge of telling you to get the fuck out of my face
instead I smile…and I think you think I like you
I mean you aright…. but your just not my type
And the fact that I know this but still continue on
I know is wrong
But like I said I hate being alone
And most of all lonely
I can’t see the forest for the trees
And sometimes I feel ugly
And don’t nobody want me
And that all stems from a broken past
And a childhood that I was never allowed to have
So now I sit here and put on my fake ass laugh
Feeling like you’re the only company that I can have
So in order to shut you up from your lame jokes
I say lets watch a movie…you say ok turn out my lights then you scoot closer to me
Then you do that fake lame ass Yawn move
And I am surprised that you thought you were so smooth
So I tell you I have to use the bathroom
It was just an excuse to move from by you
So when I came back he was stretched out
Pretending he was sleep on my couch
So I told him to get up and move
And he told me to sit on him
He must really think I’m some dumb chick
So yall know what I did I punched that dude in his dumb D**k
And he jumped up quick
So we finished watching the movie
And I had to keep blocking your hands from trying to feel on my booty
Talking about you can’t help it it’s to juicy
And all the time I’m screaming in my head eeeeuuuuwwww
I don’t like you
But I just put up with and deal with you because I don’t have anything else to do
Now it’s the end of the night and I tell you I’m sleepy
And you have the nerve to ask me do I want some company
NO!!
So I walk you to the door
And say thanks for coming over
You put your hands on my shoulder
And all of a sudden I see these 2 sloppy pair of wet lips coming towards me
I try to run an dodge them but you hold me
And you kiss me and I am disgusted cuz that was supper nasty
And you turn away and smile
And u say damn
And I make up in my mind to never play myself again I don’t care how lonely I am

Not Gonna Play Myself/Lonely I am

poeticsoul

Joined May 2009

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