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frozen sunflowers

after the dive bars
and sinking relationships
the shaking madness of mornings after
drenched journals
jaundiced damsels
frozen sunflowers
ruined dinners
madhouses
jails
rehabs
detoxes
abandoned houses
haunted cities…

where were you?
where are you?
how much is your bail?

while youth gets an old and bitter steak knife
pointed towards its carotid
and rich men with large, cold beds
sink deeper into their doomed philosophies
and try with their mangled sincerity
to defame the romance
in our recklessness
and the creativity
in our cruelty

can you remember
ever wanting any of it?
or wanting a life at all?

for all my lovely words
i have loved nothing
goodbyes out-of-tune
on strung out vocal cords
trying too hard
grasping at cleverness
collecting my bottles in the backseat
so i can give them to the homeless man
who rides his bike around town
he recognizes my ugly car now

you are beauty and horror
hell’s reluctant kiss
the lisp of an infinite wisdom

they can have the world
while i count the days
until you can recall with joy
how we’ve already poisoned what we inherited so young

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