Plain Jane
The thing is, cliches are cliches, because they’re usually true.
You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.
Make every day count.
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Graphic Scratch, Imperfectly, Melbourne & Victoria, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings and WMGThe first time she noticed the lump, she thought it was a blocked milk duct. The baby was still breast feeding, it was something she had read about. She didn’t give it another thought.
In our girlhood, she always had her head in the clouds.
She could see things that I never did.
At the bases of trees she stopped to stare into the leafy heavens calling to sparrows and fairy wrens, her arms stretched out wide. She swam with her eyes open underwater, even in the bathtub, in case a mermaid passed her by. She set an extra place at the dinner table for pirate queens. Slack-jawed and glossy-eyed she spent entire days lying on grass watching clouds, babbling stories to herself of kingdoms and castles in the sky.
People called her a ‘dreamer’.
People called me ‘smart.’
I used to want to kick stones at her.
She was oblivious to her beauty. She never tried to be beautiful. She talked to plants and they came into bloom. Even after a shower she still wore the scent of green apples. She could pick up a guitar and pluck notes from the air that made you want to howl at the chalky moon.
And she was an amazing storyteller.
Under stars of flint and milk, she made up stories of boys who stole oceans to colour their eyes and girls who used geranium petals to paint their mouths. I usually pretended to be asleep. I asked her once who in the world she’d want to meet if she could. Her answer was Peter Pan. I screamed at her that he wasn’t even real.
To my surprise, I was the one she asked to take her to the hospital, the person she listed on her registration form under Next of Kin. It shouldn’t have surprised me. Despite my thistles and thorns she had always loved me with the adoration and acceptance that reminded me of a puppy; hopelessly, relentlessly, unconditionally.
From her bone and blood, her new baby girl wore my name as her own. As an adult, her love made me sometimes want for bigger stones to kick.
When the white-coat regiment arrived to start running tests, she gripped my hand with violet knuckles. As they ploughed the first needle into her, I felt myself snap in violent whiplash. Suddenly I was on the greener grass on the turned table on the other side of the fence. The immediacy of my self-repulsion tasted like bile.
I cradled her hand in mine, sickening monstrous fear smothering and methodically carving holes in every part of me.
The doctors left.
Hands clasped, we sat.
I stroked her ebony mermaid hair, her fairy wren arms and her heart-shaped pixie face.
She was my sister.
She stared at me in mute terror.
I cursed myself for every single wasted ashen day.
And we waited.
copyright © 2008, Holly Ringland.
PJ Ryan
ohhhh. My heart is heavy and my eyes have tears .. this is such a powerful and emotive piece of writing. I’ve always enjoyed your writing from the first piece i ever read .. which from memory was the baby one (the one that broke my heart too) ..
I feel this piece too .. my mum .. only in recent years .. she is here and fighting strong and living life .. but my heart sings a song of mermaids and peter pan flights for Jane/your sister/her sister/her daughter/their mother/our grandmother/your aunt/our neighbour/that person we don’t know.
Thank you for this timely piece xx
(there is so much in this that resonates with me .. not just the heartache)
Holly Ringland replied
Nic, how do I reply to this incredible comment?
You are a Red Bubble treasure chest and it’s so wonderful to be in your company here. When I sat down determined to write something for Like a Virgin, I had no idea this was coming. Losing Spring was the same [the baby one] ;) I am so humbled by your comments and feedback… thank you so much and thank you for reading.
Give your mum a kiss for me.
DiannaLee
What a fantastic piece of writing….so much feeling! ....thank you for sharing this…..
Holly Ringland replied
Oh Dianna, thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I am so glad you enjoyed this piece.
crowe
“Under stars of flint and milk, she made up stories of boys who stole oceans to colour their eyes and girls who used gardenia petals to paint their mouths.”
Goodness me that’s good writing.
Holly Ringland replied
Thanks for your great comment crowe, I really appreciate it.
Margot Saffer
This is an amazing piece of writing.
Capturing the life of which we have to let go, which some let go of while still alive.
it sings so many notes
Holly Ringland replied
Margot, thank you so much for your beautiful comment and thanks for reading.
greeneyedlady
the older i grow, the more comfortable i get with the concept of a greater plan….i don’t always like it, and i never really understand it, but it’s comforting to know we all play our part in it and i can embrace that aspect of it. this is a beautifully descriptive piece and i hope it gave you some comfort to write it. thanks for sharing with us.
Holly Ringland
Wow ms green eyes… thank you for your amazing comment. Thank you for reading, for your thoughts, feedback and care, they are all tremendously encouraging and inspiring.
botticcelli
amazing fortress your …beautiful memorie !
Holly Ringland replied
thank you so much botticcelli, I really appreciate your wonderful comment.
Tony Ryan
So agree. We humans seem to need big wakeup calls before we really go deep within for the inspiration to live true to our hearts. It would be so much more easy if we just continually embraced our inner selves without the need for struggle and external pressures.
Holly Ringland
Thanks for reading Tony and sharing your thoughts and comments. Much appreciated ;)
Miri
that just hit me in the gut & broke my heart, wonderful emotive writing, i love the flow of positive & negative emotions, that is life
Holly Ringland replied
goodness me, Miri… thank you for this perfect succinct comment, it’s enormously humbling and encouraging. thank you for reading.
Lisa Jewell
I am deeply moved…..this is so heartfelt and real….
Wonderful writing, Pinta XO
Holly Ringland replied
Oh lovely LisaG… thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful comment, I’m so pleased you liked it.
Zolton
Very wonderful writing. Poignant.
Holly Ringland replied
Thanks Z, this piece really came out of nowhere, although I suspect it had been brewing for a while before I wrote it. I really appreciate your comment.
lianne
Holly – you’ve captured here in this honest and moving piece the reality of human nature. Facing the terror, the reality of losing – or potentially losing – someone we love so deeply fills us with this dichotomy of emotions. The day my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer, our family doctor said to me, “You will need to tell him how very angry you are because you love him – you have to come to grips with all of it!” He was right – sometimes the people we love the most are the very same ones who annoy us the most! I had to kick some stones! I’m so touched with the powerful way you’ve expressed all of this!
Holly Ringland replied
goodness me, thank you so much lianne. thank you for sharing a part of your life, thank you for giving me an insight as to how my writing reads to you in the world outside of my mind. i really appreciate your comments, they are incredibly encouraging and supporting and i thank you so much.
James Stolzel
Dear Miss. P.P.,
I just joined RedBubble.
I have to say that this piece is wonderful. You’re words, “Under stars of flint and milk, she made up stories of boys who stole oceans to colour their eyes and girls who used gardenia petals to paint their mouths” has gracefully been scribbled into my little black book which holds all of my favorite quotes from all of my favorite works.
I hope that’s OK.
I wish I could turn those words into a photograph.
Holly Ringland replied
thanks so much james, this is a wonderful comment and i’m humbled by the addition of my words into your book of favourite works. thank you for reading :)
CLICK58
I’m not sure how I wound up here as I generally stick to photography…but I have to tell you that this has gripped my heart and I am so very moved by the emotions this story evokes. You are such a talent and I will continue to follow your work. Thank you so very much for sharing;}
Holly Ringland
thanks for straying from the path click… and goodness, your feedback is making me blush with glee. thank you for reading and thank you for your encouraging response to my work. it is wholeheartedly appreciated.
sewings
Pintapinta is this really you? I am stunned to have known you this long and not felt this part of you. This says more of me than you. I’m wary of being captured and interrogated by your words of honey that seem to pour so effortlessly… I don’t like crying.
Holly Ringland
it’s really me, you found me! ha – who are you kidding, we all know you’re a big softie underneath that gruff facade. i am so delighted that you found my work. now you know what I was nattering on about years ago when I was telling you ‘where i saw myself in five years time’ (my most loathed interview question of all time). goodness, thank you for your response to my writing. thank you for calling my words effortless honey. your feedback means a lot to me. thank you.
Renae Ewings
Shivers throughout my whole body, from toes to eyes until I wept.
Amazingly beautiful.
Holly Ringland replied
hello miss renae… thank you so much for reading and leaving this beautiful comment behind, it means indescribable things to my heart to learn how people read and feel my work. i thank you, from my toes to my eyes ;)
Di Dowsett
every hair on my arms is standing on end, and i have a tear in my eye! such power and feeling conveyed in a few words!!
amazing!!!
xx
Holly Ringland replied
oh i’m so pleased that my words connected with you di, it’s a never-ending treat to learn how people respond to my work. thank you so much.
Jane Keats
I have no words adequate. But I was very touched, ‘wow’ will have to do.
Philip Rogan
Great tight prose with, ” I used to want to kick stones at her”, being my favourite line. Would be nice as a full length short story?
lianne
For this, dear Holly, I truly have no words for the tears are pouring down my face. Exquisitely painful, hauntingly sad and just too close. Amazing.
Yoanna
She must be incredible, but you are no less incredible story teller too, Holly.
.
And as we are only part human and part stories, please repeat to the woman, you think of, that what the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
She will fly again.