Boilingdown Creek

pinkelephant
Author: pinkelephant
Word Count: 249
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They were driving through the countryside, three tourists and their guide, in a white minivan. Dead kangaroos lined the road, lumped like discarded costumes after a masquerade. The sun cut through the grey paddocks and lit them up like Broadway stars.

The tourists had colourful towels wrapped around them, briny from their ocean swim. The guide watched their heads bobbing enthusiastically in the rear-vision mirror, fingers pointing out flocks of emaciated sheep, run-down shacks, beach photos on their cameras.

At Boilingdown Creek, the minivan pulled in so the tourists could have a waterside picnic. They left their towels drying in the sun and went to dip various red limbs into the soupy puddles of the creek bed. When they returned, their towels were as rough and brittle as biscuit. The sun lit their sweat-sheened skin as they ate grapes from a cool-box.

As they prepared to leave, a tall man in an akubra walked by the van, shotgun in hand. He waved to them, eyes scrunched up against the sun’s glare. What are you doing, asked the tourists, unsettled. I’ll kill my animals before the land gets to, he said. He pointed to the tray of his ute, where two sheep lay with pink mouths open. Breaks my heart, he said. Got nothing left.

The tourists watched him wash his hands in the creek. He waved to them again as the minivan pulled out onto the road and headed back to the city.

Boilingdown Creek

  • kseriphyn

    kseriphynNetworker Extraordinaire, about 1 year ago

    I’m sure that’s a piece of memory the tourists will take home with them.

  • Michael Douglass

    Michael Douglass, about 1 year ago

    I remember this one, very poignant. You have a talent for capturing a lot in a few words. Clever writer monkey.

  • Elaine van Dyk

    Elaine van Dyk, about 1 year ago

    Marvellous piece of writing pinkelephant. I love the way you conjure up visualisations of the two worlds, miles apart, with your descriptions of the tourists with “colourful towels” and “beach photos on their cameras”, in stark contrast to their “fingers pointing out herds of emaciated sheep, run-down shacks.”

    PS. as an aside…is the “herds” of sheep deliberate, as opposed to “flocks” of sheep? Not a criticism…..just an observation.

  • pinkelephant

    pinkelephant, about 1 year ago

    oh crap, thanks. i’m looking sheepish right now. shall fix it.
    thanks kalb, i try.
    thanks for reading, k :)

  • georgiegirl

    georgiegirl, about 1 year ago

    Some things just have to be done… and sometimes the city folk just don’t get it.

  • craig scutt

    craig scutt, about 1 year ago

    this is great writing and a moving story.

    your observation “towels were as rough and brittle as biscuit” is superb. As is the way you’ve presented the farmer’s laconic style (“Breaks my heart … Got nothing left”).

    Great stuff :)

  • pinkelephant

    pinkelephant, about 1 year ago

    Thanks for reading, guys. My head has out-grown all my hats.

  • AmandaWitt

    AmandaWitt, about 1 year ago

    I like the ‘briny from the ocean swim’ – makes them sound like tuna in a can!

  • pinkelephant

    pinkelephant, about 1 year ago

    Thanks Amanda. I never thought of it that way, though I did picture them packed in like so many sardines in a van ; )

  • Damian

    Damian, 3 months ago

    A great comparison of the different lifestyles, and how the bush realities aren’t always as seen in the postcards. Wonderful descriptions :)

  • Zolton

    Zolton, 2 months ago

    Yay!!! Great for you, lady. Congratulations.

  • Jo Hoden

    Jo Hoden, 2 months ago

    congratulations

  • Damian

    Damian, 2 months ago

    Well done! Great to see you end up in this publication :)

  • fleece

    fleece, 2 months ago

    congrats pinky, getting the recognition you deserve!

  • pinkelephant

    pinkelephant, 2 months ago

    Thanks guys! I am ridiculously happy right now :)

  • kseriphyn

    kseriphynNetworker Extraordinaire, 2 months ago

    Finally! A decent winner for an official red bubble competition. So excited this result came about.

  • Anne van Alkemade

    Anne van AlkemadeWordsmith, 2 months ago

    This is such a fantastic story. It’s so true. It’s a glimpse of the country that so many city folks don’t see, don’t want to see, can’t understand. You have captured the whole issue of environmental imbalance in so few words an I am in awe of this piece. It is so deserving. Well done Pinkie.

  • pinkelephant

    pinkelephant, 2 months ago

    Aw shucks, k :) But yes, great to see that the other writing category winners are great pieces. Go redbubble!
    Thanks awfully, Anne! I always worried that the narrative was too spare. But it seems I get my point across. What a relief :)

  • amove

    amove, 2 months ago

    Very poignant, congratulations

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