Her teats are still warm, and warm my hands as I milk her. She died about an hour ago but still has one last thing to give. This milk is precious. It will provide the newborn foal who jostles around me with the immunities of the mare. It will give him her protection against the world.
A mother’s gift.
It was an ugly death – sorry to be frank. The foal was too big and upside down. Something terrible has happened inside her. In pain she still found the few hours to ensure the foal got his first drink. This is the difference between life and death. The foal has received a little and now I extract a little more. Maybe just 300 ml.
It’s not milk really– more a clear sticky glue. Smelling very sweet – serious stuff. And so terribly precious. Worth my time to be here in the mud, her blood and the cold. She stayed alive for more hours than she really should to have helped her foal. This is the last gift.
It’s almost midnight when I finish. A clear, spring night. The entire universe is laid before me. And a new foal and a dead mare.
DevineDayDreams
oh my…........ so sad!!!.......i am sorry.poor little thing, poor mum and poor you! :(
Pilgrim
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It has been rough. We lost another horse only three weeks ago. So life on the farm is also death on the farm.
The good news is we have found a surrogate mare for the foal and I think he will be OK. He has been named Angelo. And is a strong little bugger (I know I had to hold him in the float to the Vet hospital – travelling in a float on rough roads on a cold night with a frightened foal is up there on my list interesting activities).
aglaia b
wow, so beautifully poetic and sad.
;-) xox
Del Millar
So sorry..
touchingly written Pilgrim, heart felt..
a miracle
mother’s milk
nurturing new life
Denzil
Oooohhh … this brought a tear to my eye … so sad, and uplifting at the same time.
Beautiful piece of writing, thanks for sharing.
robpixaday
.....oh my gosh I’m so sorry…...(((((((((((((Pilgrim))))))))))))
halftone
I’ve lost a foal but not a mare…..thank goodness you’ve managed to salvage the colostrum so Anglelo will have a chance!
Pilgrim
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He is having a real run at it. We have a foster mare and he is as lively as can be this morning. We are hopeful.
Pilgrim
And here she is with another foal. A lovely, brave horse
Juilee Pryor
oh my goodness you are really having such a hard time with your horses… the poor little foal…. it’s so good that you may have a surrogate mother…. this is so dramatic to read about and quite heartbreaking as well… all best wishes for Angelo and you all
Craig Shillington
That is so sad :( Yet the foal is well. Good on you for what you did too!!
halftone
Fingers crossed!!
Helene Kippert
So beautifully written martin and so sad it brought a tear to my eye. I hope the little one survives.
Tom Godfrey
A beautiful tribute to a universal mother. Thanks for sharing Martin
Pilgrim
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Yes Tom, that is sort of how it feels. As humans we often see ourselves as the only ones capable of true devotion, true love. The more time I spend in proximity with animals the less I feel this to be the case.
georgiegirl
That is so heartbreaking. Farmlife is hard at times and life does go on, but saying that doesn’t make anyone feel better. I do hope lots of happiness comes your way after all this sadness that you’ve had.
Pilgrim
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It is strange. The sadness of the farm is the sadness of life itself. As such you just do accept it. I feel it brings with it a certain wisdom.
Shanina Conway
Oh this is such sad news Martin, I feel for you, your family and the amazing mother who gave everything for her foal.
..but It’s fantastic news you’ve found a surrogate for little Angelo, I hope he brings you all much happiness….must be a bittersweet time in your home tonight…hugs to all.
Pilgrim
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Angelo is thriving and has taken to the surrogate mare. And more importantly the mare has taken to him. He is going to be a little beauty I feel.
Karin Taylor
oh, i feel so sad hearing this, I’m so sorry…. it’s good the little one has a surrogate mum, i love animals so much, they teach us to be more human…thank you for sharing this…sad as it is, it touched me and taught me more.
PERUGINA
I’m so sad for the loss of such a brave mother.
How heartbreaking for all.
I pray for Angelo and that his mum always watches over him.
We are blessed to share our earth with these creatures we call animals
Pilgrim
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Yes,we are just one type of being. There are other beings that also carry the spark of the divine.
berndt2
so very sad… inspiring, though. Beautifully and reverently written
Mieke Boynton
What a moving piece. Beautifully written, with love and warmth (despite the cold!!). Really touching. Thank you for sharing your experience and making me pause from the rush of the day… Little miracles :)
Colleen Milburn
I’m sorry I missed this, Martin, when you first posted it. I know I’ve said it before, but I’m so sad and sorry. But what a beautiful example of the cycle of life. You’ve done your babies, mother and son, proud.
Tania Birch
So sad, made me tear up! The way you expressed yourself was enough to put me in the picture. I so hope the foal will be ok.
Wouldn’t it be great to see ongoing photos of it growing up. You could keep us up to date and let us know the progress.
Pilgrim
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Yes will post a photo of Angelo when we get some nice sunny weather. We have had lots of rain which has been lovely and he is growing with joy and beauty.
Catherine Howell
have been through this…there are no words to say how devastated one feels after going through this…
Magaret Meintjes
Your story is so sad! I am so sorry for the loss of the mother and happy for the little foal you saved. Your braveness, knowledge and deep love for your horses carried you through and had a deep impact spiritually, Your writing came straight from your heart, released from the emotions of sad and happiness, that you went through, in your struggle to try and save what was dear to you. Only some-one that has a deep love and understanding for any animal can do that. Thank you for sharing such a deep and personal experience, I appreciate it. I also had a very sad experience once that I will never forget but I will write my story. I have faith and believe that every thing in life happens for a reason, sometimes we only see and understand much later in our lives. Take care, maggie
Pilgrim
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Maggie
Thank you so much. I do find that as I deepen my spirituality that my sense of awe and wonder at the universe also increases. My love of the beings we share it with (and I confess, often most especially, non-human beings!) also increases. Cats, horses and cows are all zen masters. Dogs are an all together different kettle of fish!
Rosemary Scott
How terribly tragic for you. I’m so sorry you had to experience this.
My own experiences with horses has been one of great bonding & shared understanding….. there is great wisdom & ‘knowing” in a horse. I’m sure your beautiful Mare welcomed your comfort in her last moments.
How wonderful that she bravely held on until she knew her foal had a chance…. a true Mother till the end.
I’m sure little Angelo will have a beautiful life :))
Pilgrim
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Angelo now thinks the world is pretty good. A foal is just a joyeous being to have aroudn the place as they discover the wonder of life – running, kicking, jumping. Gorgeous and life inspiring beings.
dalloway
This story is so touching. Thank you!
KatsEye
So so sorry to hear this. I feel for you. Sounds like she was an awesome mare. To hang on to make sure the little one survise. My tears go out to you. hugz as well.
Zefira
so sad yet so beautifully told. Codolences, glad the foal is going well
Tania Birch
A beautiful name Martin, the name “ANGELO” is Italian for Messenger, Angel. I look forward to seeing more photos. :-)
markgb
This is so beautifully written, thank you for sharing.
My heart goes out to you and the foal.
PetroBee
Angels must’ve cried that night. In a way you now are the ‘emotional’ srigate mother of that foal. God bless.
Pilgrim
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I must admit I feel that way a bit. After this I then had to ride with him in the back of a float on some rough roads to get to the vet hospital. It was a difficult thing and I do feel very close to the little fellow because I know how much worse it was to him to have to endure that after just a few hours in the world.
jegustavsen
Thank you so much for writing this. Life and death colliding, and a mother’s love that continues to reach out to me is truely God’s creation of love.
bellmusker
This is so beautifully written, and your grief comes through with every word. So, however, does your awe at the new life and the cycle that continues, no matter what we do to try and hold on, and the fact that you instill that same awe in your reader speaks volumes about the manner in which you see the world. Thank you for sharing this, I’m so sorry for the loss of such a noble creature.
Pilgrim
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bellmusker, thank you for your lovely comment. It was a very difficult thing but you are right it also causes me to see the world as it is – both its pain and its wonder.
Lorna Gerard
Thank you for sharing, as this is life – death. What we do in this life and how we leave it is the most important thing, as your story shows that even after death some part of us is left that is able to give back, as I have discovered when our son died at 27, for so long after I found so many little things that meant so much to me and others, so in a way the Gift of Life/Death never really stops giving and it is so meaningful for each of us, as is our art, a part of our soul/spirit is in each and every piece created.
jobanana
Your story touched me deeply. I sit here weeping – deeply saddened but incredibly uplifted at the same time. Thank you for your sharing pilgrim.
CJ Bookholt
As a human mum still nursing her 8 month old son, this made me cry. To evoke such emotion with written words is a great talent.
Glenn-Patrick ...
Growing up working on a farm I often saw similiar scenes before me.As a young man it made me realize just how precious this thing we call life is.As I approach middle age I have never forgotten those lessons learned about the grim reality of life and death and the lessons learned have served me well over the years.To be there when something or someone dies is a privelege I believe.Sometimes a responsibility as well and not one to be taken lightly at that.Thank you for sharing the story.Got me thinking:)
Pilgrim
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I agree. I didn’t grow up on a farm but am taking to farming life and am seeing how it is giving my children a perspective on the totality of existence which is hard to get in the city. Out here there is life, death and renewal. It gives us more ability to be honest, humble and caring of ourselves.
tabbytail
I’m impressed with how much you have given to this new baby, he owes his life to you too.
EmmaLeigh
An amazing display of love. Some would say instinctive, but I have a friend who owns horses and would disagree that all horses are born with that level of nurturing. You truly had a special mother, but more importantly the foal had a caring owner who took the time and effort to ensure he had the best possible start under the circumstances. Please accept my admiration. I wish more people were as loving as you towards God’s creatures!