lies, all lies

There was this never ending silence that kept punching me in the gut. It was as though someone had tied me to the chair and set the room on fire. The panic welled up in me, threatening to burst out, a torrent of vomit. How was I supposed to answer?

I did the knee jerk reaction thing… again.

“Don’t be silly. Of course not”

What a weak arse lamo I am today. Couldn’t even admit it. Who cares if she knows? Who cares if she cares? If she is my friend she will respect me for whoever I am, whatever I do. This shouldn’t be so hard.

Oh well. Another stupendous stuff up under my belt. Some more self flagellation for the heck of it. Off I go. Back to that perfectly normal heterosexual life I left behind. Sometimes I embarrass myself from being so weak. Sometimes I’m just angry. It’s all the same. It’s all lying. Who will I lie to next? Them, or me?

lies, all lies

Jo O'Brien

Melbourne, Australia

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